For example, somebody emailed me and said, my biggest problem is that I’m lazy. I mean, I do a lot. I work and I have six kids and I clean the house, but sometimes I just wanna sit and zone out and I’m lonely. And she just lists all these things. Okay. It was a huge paragraph.

I’m like. Okay, so you’re not lazy. You’re probably just tired and burnt out. And so I went and looked up some definitions of lazy. So laziness is. This is such a great definition, by the way, a conscious choice to avoid effort despite having the capacity and the energy to act. Okay. And so that’s like, I legit could do it right now.

I have the energy and the capacity. Capacity is gonna be the tricky one, by the way. I could do it, but like, I don’t want to, like, I’m just choosing to do something else. By the way, I don’t even think teenagers are lazy. I have a whole soapbox about how we talk about teenagers, but we’re not gonna get into that right now.

And so for most of you, the truth is you’re burnt out, you’re fried. Okay, overstimulated and you are mislabeling your exhaustion as laziness. ’cause you’re like sitting on the couch and you’re just, I mean, how many of you have done that where you’re not even looking at your phone, you’re just like sitting there. Then some of you’re looking at your phone, which is fine, but it’s not because you’re lazy.

Okay. It’s because you’re tired, like your body is screaming for a break or for some rest, and so you are thinking like, I literally could get up and do the dishes right now, which is, by the way, maybe the energy to do it, like maybe you do have the energy to do it, but I think you lack the capacity to do it. Which is your brain is fried, your nervous system’s fried, your heart is full, like something else is going on with you emotionally or physically.

And we just really can’t do that right now. We just can’t. Okay. And so, you know, it’s a lot. It’s very layered and nuanced to understand the difference between like burnout and overstimulation and physical exhaustion.

But I’m almost never telling moms that they are lazy. And if you saw the amount of things that you had to hold in your mind to think about and the things you had to do compared to moms a hundred years ago, like It’s insane.

And of course a hundred years ago they were like hand washing their clothes, so physically they had so much more, but the mental load was so different because there was so much physically to do. They didn’t wonder what they needed to do all the time.

They just like got up and made everything from scratch and had to get the eggs from the chickens and then had to, you know, boil the water to wash the clothes and like it was known what needed to be done.

And I don’t think that life was necessarily easier than on the whole, right. But mentally, the brain, the machine up here didn’t have to deal with as much, it didn’t have to think about food dyes and ballet practice and homeschool hybrids and like all these things that we have to think about.

And so, we are burnt out, but we still have physical energy and so we’re telling ourselves that we’re lazy. Now, I’m a big fan of coaching yourself so that you don’t get mentally burnt out so that you can increase your capacity to do stuff.

I’m not, team, life is so hard and we can’t do it and we should all just give up, right? Like I don’t love that coaching either. But I do wanna take you right now and go, little flower. I love you. You are really tired, you are stretched in. There is a lot going on. I love you and I’m gonna give you some hope.

And the first hope that I give moms is I’m like, Hey, if you manage your mind, if you clean up the negativity that’s in here and you stop chewing on problems that you should not be chewing on, you’re gonna feel like you get two hours of your day back because you do probably have a little bit of physical energy left.

But if we can match that to some freed up mental energy, now we can get more things done. And sometimes the more things that you need to get done is to take care of yourself and rest or have fun. It’s not always add more of the like drudgery to-do list things. Okay? Moms are not lazy. Stop telling yourself that you’re lazy. How ridiculous is that?

And like, why are you even talking to yourself like that in the first place? That’s wild. You know what you do, you know how you live, and the fact that laziness would even enter your mind is crazy.

Right, but what you probably are is not managing the words that are going on in your mind. So you have a constant ticker tape telling you that you’re behind and you’re a failure and you don’t have enough time and you’re not good at anything, and C, you’re not organized and all the other moms are better than you.

We all have like different flavors of that, right? Which is exhausting, by the way. It’s exhausting to listen to that in your own mind, can you imagine if a person followed you around and just told you how terrible you were all the time? That would be so grading and exhausting, but you’re doing it to yourself.

Okay? The word lazy is out of your vocabulary. We’re just taking it out. We’re taking it out. It’s so rare to encounter a truly lazy person. We are just like. We’re deleting that brain. We’re deleting that word from your brain. It’s gone.

Okay? And instead, I want you to first of all, start telling yourself that you are a good mom and you are doing a good job. You can watch my video on how you are one of the good moms. I will change your mind, I promise.

And then I want you to start being in touch with what you need. You might need to sit on the couch for 40 minutes at the beginning. I will even say, and scroll your phone. I will tell you that that’s ruining your life a little bit. But if we’re at step one, like yes, just sit on the couch and scroll on the phone.

Eventually, I’d like you to do something else with that time, but in the beginning, I think that’s totally fine and just recognize that you. Are probably fried up here, even though your body has physical energy, but you need to start meeting your brain needs, and the brain needs are gonna be a little bit of silence. The silence is gonna clear out your brain.

You know how sometimes our computers run slowly because the cache is being built up. I don’t know what the cache is, but I know that it builds up and we have to get rid of it sometimes. Okay. Your brain is like that too.

And sitting in silence and not resolving any of your thoughts, like just letting them appear, but sitting really quietly. This is why we talk about meditative prayer and meditation and just sitting quietly, it cleans out the cash in the brain.

And so adding just some more silence into your life, starting with five minutes a day. Five minutes, my friend, just five minutes of silence. And you’re gonna hate it. You’re gonna hate it. ’cause your brain is gonna fill that space in the beginning with just like all this chirpy chirping and it won’t be nice to you. But we’re gonna get better at that too. Okay?

And so I want you to add in a little bit of silence, and I want you to stop calling yourself lazy. And I want you to start telling yourself that you’re a good mom ’cause you are. And I’m proud of you, okay? I’m proud of you for how much you love your family and how you take care of your house. I don’t care how messy the floors are or what’s on your counter. You do care about your house.

And you’re doing a good job and the Lord loves you. Okay? And I think another reason that we are so tired is because we have a lot of negative thoughts about our spouse. Not everybody. Some of you that isn’t your thing.

Okay. But for a lot of you, I do a lot of coaching on, but my husband, right? And the YouTube is gonna tell you a lot about the mental load that women have to carry, which is true. And yet thinking negatively about her husbands and being negative to him not helping anything. Right? It’s not even gonna solve that. It’s just gonna make him withdraw a little bit more. Okay? Or come at you.

So I want you, if this sounds like you, and you’re like, oh, part of my negativity is I feel like I’m all alone and he’s not helping me, okay? Is to go watch my video on negative husbands. And I know your brain’s gonna be like, but I need more help. But it starts here. It starts by changing the way that you think about him.

And I promise I’m gonna do more videos about husbands helping and you getting more time and having better systems. I’m a huge fan of systems, but they’ve got to start from the place of you are a good mom and you’re learning to love yourself and nothing’s wrong with you.

If it’s coming from the place of I’m a bad mom and I’m lazy, and everything sucks. Then we’re not even gonna find really good systems because your brain is gonna be in a stress state while you do it.

We only get this one life, and that’s where I got to. I was like, I don’t wanna hate motherhood. I don’t wanna wake up and be like, I don’t wanna live through today. You know? And that’s how I used to wake up, and I promise you that that’s optional and we don’t have to live like that.

All right. I love you. I’m praying for you. Please pray for me and have a blessed day.