Have you ever wondered what coaching actually is — and whether it could change your experience of motherhood?

Not therapy. Not advice from a friend. Not another book or podcast. Real, personalized coaching that helps you see your blind spots, break through your stuck points, and build the life you actually want.

In this episode, I explain exactly what breakthrough coaching is and how it works.

We talk about:
* What a coaching session actually looks like (no mystery, no woo)
* The kinds of breakthroughs Catholic moms experience
* Why investing in yourself isn’t selfish — it’s one of the best things you can do for your family
* Real stories of transformation from moms just like you

If you liked this episode, you’ll also enjoy:
 Catholic Finishing School: Becoming Who God Made You
 Stop Doing Self-Help from Brokenness: Heal First
 What Real Progress Looks Like

If this episode makes you curious about coaching — good. That’s exactly what we offer inside Mary’s Heart Martha’s Order: real coaching, real community, real transformation. Come see for yourself at catholicmomcalm.com/marysheart

Sterling: Thank you. So much. I have been looking forward to doing this podcast for a long time, as you know. And it does, it feels like special for us to be on a podcast together. 

Denise: It’s our very first time, even though we’ve known each other for several years.

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: I’m gonna have Sterling tell us a little bit about herself and I want to tell you guys how I met Sterling. And then we’ve got a very special announcement for you, a collaboration that she and I are going to be doing together. But Sterling, do you wanna tell our audience just a little bit about who you are? Just who you are in general. 

Sterling: Yeah, so I was not raised Catholic, which is a big part of my story. But I always knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur from a young age, which I think a lot of entrepreneurs have that they know, they’re doing lemonade stands or selling things. I sold bottled water on the corner of a golf course to people that had lots of money. Like I was always thinking about things like that. 

And then I started building websites for soccer teams when I was 17. So I learned how to like hand code websites and then I sold them to soccer team. So I’ve always been entrepreneurial minded but I wasn’t Catholic, not in high school, not in college.

And later the Lord really, he just pursued me. He really did. And I ended up becoming Protestant when I was 24, and I went all in. Like I really had this incredible conversion experience and I was reading my Bible every day and I really just fell in love with the Lord. 

And at that point, I had not thought that I had wanted to get married before that, but after falling in love with the Lord, he just opened my heart to marriage, and so I ended up being on eharmony.com. 

So it was a matchmaking website back then. We didn’t have the apps back then, you guys, so I was on eHarmony and I ended up being matched with a guy who was Catholic. And in his profile, he said that he read the Bible every day. And so I was like, I didn’t think Catholics read their Bible, so all right, I’ll give this guy a chance.

And so I fell in love with this guy and that’s its own story, but I ended up becoming Catholic before we got married. And I went all in on that. I was like, yes, I totally get it. I’m gonna be Catholic. And then I had a bunch of kids, I had six kids in eight years, and I dabbled in business. I had a podcast where I would read. Self-help psychology books. 

And I would read old books, Saint Books like Story of a Soul or Confessions, and then I would pull out wisdom from both of them and I would share them on a podcast. So it was a mix of modern science and wisdom from the Saints. 

And so I was doing that. For many years and helping women just navigate the challenges of motherhood, because that was my story. I was living through that, trying to figure out how to be a Catholic mom in this crazy world that we live in. 

So I had those six kids in eight years and right at the end, after my six kids. I found coaching. And I remember the first time someone said, oh, this is a Catholic life coach. And I was so judgy about it. I was like, what’s that? That’s not a real thing. I don’t like it at all. And so if any of you feel that way when you hear the phrase life coach, like I totally felt like that. 

But I ended up meeting this woman and she asked me some very profound questions and really challenged. What I thought about the world, and it was so eye-opening for me and it was coming from such a faithful Catholic person that I really was interested in it.

And so I ended up going through that same program and becoming certified as a life coach to help Catholic moms not lose their minds. It’s hard to live in this modern world, and I wanted to give them these tools, which were really quite life changing for me. I really consider. Falling in love with the Lord as this huge 180 for me.

And then the next biggest moment for me was really when I discovered life coaching. And it had nearly the same level of impact in terms of how I lived my day-to-day life and what I believed and how experienced my life. 

And so I’ve been doing that ever since. That was five years ago. So I had been writing books for Catholic moms and helping them, but five years ago I started coaching them and that just added this extra really beautiful. Layered to the work that I was doing and that’s how I met my friend Denise. 

Denise: Yes. I’m so glad you, that’s just the most perfect segue because I promise you guys we’re gonna talk about our bodies and weight loss and food and all the things, but I think it’s important that you hear how the Lord has had his hand on this program for a very long time, and how he brought Sterling and me together.

So you heard Sterling’s part, and this is how I found Sterling. So I was a personal trainer and in 2020 when the gyms closed, I was, I had no gym. So I started to train my people virtually. And then I got this wonderful idea that I did not wanna go back to the gym. I wanted to have a virtual business.

So I thought I’m gonna be a wellness coach. And instead of helping people just with their exercise, I’m gonna help them with their nutrition and their sleep and their stress and all the things. And the Lord said, Denise, I want you to bring souls to me. And I was like, sure. What? I don’t get it, but okay. So I thought what he was saying was, I want you to be like a Christian wellness coach. 

So I thought that was not really popular because at that point I’d only had a secular business, but I really wasn’t willing to say no to the Lord. So I just started pursuing avenues of how to create a virtual business online.

So in my Google searches, I come upon some Christian people and then I come upon a Catholic business coach. Which happened to be Sterling. And I was so fascinated by her work. Her work was just so bold, but also so this is just what we do. We’re Catholic and no one’s apologetic. And I was never publicly apologetic about being Catholic. I just had never taken my work into that space. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: And I thought, isn’t this professional suicide? 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: Again, I just wasn’t willing to say no to the Lord. So as we started working together and Sterling kept helping me, grow my confidence and offer my wares, if you will, my services to the world, it became very apparent that the Lord did not create me to help people with their wellness.

He told me one day, Denise, I want you to go find my hurting daughters and bring them to me. Because up until this point, I had been in front of people very publicly, cheerleader, fitness, nutrition, and no one knew my private struggle and recovery from binge eating. 

That was between me and the Lord, and I was just loving the freedom that I had, but not talking about that I’d had this very long struggle that I was had at one point, just spent time eating out of garbage cans or Waiting for my husband to go to bed so I could stay up and eat like I wanted, or having these amazing kids and just hiding in my, the corner of my pantry with a jar of peanut butter. Nobody knew that. 

And Sterling was the one who gave me the confidence this to say, the Lord is asking you to go find them. And she helped me develop that messaging and to say what? You all needed me to say, but I’ll never forget the day that she was bold enough to say to me, Denise, I look at you and I don’t want help from you. 

You don’t look like you’ve had one. You don’t look like you’ve had one day of trouble. And that you guys, I have saved it. I got on Facebook Live like two days later and I was like, all right I’m just gonna have to say here’s all the scary things that I’d done. And I was so nervous and I’m crying in that Facebook Live, but I just did it ’cause I kept saying, you guys need to know that I know you. I don’t look like it, but I promise you I’ve been there.

And I go on to say, and I’ll tell you guys why I think I never got to 200 pounds. I’ll tell you now, one of the reasons I think I never got over 200 pounds was a couple reasons. I think genetics played a role in it, but I was never pregnant. And my boys are adopted and I know. If I would’ve gotten pregnant, yeah. I would’ve gained all of that pregnancy weight and I would’ve never lost it. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: All of you listening to this know that that kind of was a turning point for you, that if you had any sort of reliance on food or emotional eating problems, you just can’t lose the weight after the baby comes. ’cause now you’re even more stressed.

Sterling: Right? 

Denise: All of you listening to this know that that kind of was a turning point for you, that if you had any sort of reliance on food or emotional eating problems, you just can’t lose the weight after the baby comes. ’cause now you’re even more stressed.

Sterling: Right? 

Denise: So I never had my own biological children. And then when I look back, you guys, I came into food recovery when I was 37. That’s young. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Demise: A lot of people struggle into their fifties and sixties. And my emotional eating had really only been really hard for probably 18 months. By the time I was like, I can’t do this anymore. So my point is that part of the struggle that I’ve had being able to help women is for them to believe. You get me, you know me and you can help because you know what, Denise? You don’t look like it. And your worst picture was 40 pounds more. 

Sterling: Right. Okay. Well, okay, let me say, let me share. So I wanna tell you guys a little bit about my weight journey and then how this program came about.

So I have been heavy since I was 10. Okay. Genetics were not my friend and I was just chubby since I was 10. And it’s very unfair. My brother has the kind of body where he can eat anything and it’s just like lanky. So I don’t know what genes he got, but I didn’t get them. And I don’t have an off. Switch. 

I could eat seven pieces of pizza and I will watch other people and be like, how do you just eat one and not eat it? I can just eat and eat and never stop eating. And for me it was chocolate chips. I would just like eat, we would buy like a huge bag of Costco sized chocolate chips and they’d just be in the pantry and I’d leave the Ziploc part open.

So I could just walk by and reach in and grab some and eat them. So I was heavy since I was 10. I did everything Atkins, snackwells, weight Watchers, at a heartbreakingly young age. Now that I look back at it, like I was just always dieting. I was always aware that I was chubby and I never really figured that out.

And I think God gave me this special gift that my husband proposed to me when I was my highest weight ever. And I think subconsciously I really wanted a man who just loved me for who I was and not because I was thin, ’cause I was always chasing that. 

So it was 205 pounds when he proposed to me. And I was, and I’m five three, so that’s a lot. You guys on five three. And I don’t know, I love that about him still. It is still my favorite. Like I just love that about him that he did that. And, but then immediately after we got engaged, I did the HCG diet. Do you know about that, Denise? Where you take HCG?

Denise: Yeah.

Sterling: Which I think is totally probably snake oil and not real. I don’t think they’re actually giving you pharmaceutical grade HCG, but really what it is you put drops under your tongue and you basically just eat nothing. We eat 500 calories of water food. 

Denise: Yeah. 

Sterling: So it doesn’t matter what the drops were. Like you would lose weight. And I lost, so I might, I think I lost 40 pounds before our wedding and in not a long time. So I had lost 40 pounds for our wedding. And then after I had my first daughter and I didn’t go crazy actually, when I was pregnant with her I think I gained 35 pounds, which is like pretty reasonable within the noise. But I hadn’t lost much of it. 

And then I forget how many months postpartum I was. But then I miscarried and I remember after I miscarried and my husband and I had processed it together, he said, oh, he goes, I was really worried about you being at this weight and getting pregnant again. He was just worried for my health and being able to do it. 

And I was too. And that was when I started CrossFitting. So I went to CrossFit, I got really into paleo and I CrossFit for a year and I think I got down to, I think I got down to 150 pounds, but my body looked really good ’cause I was lifting all these weights. So I did that. Then I have five more kids, you guys, I had six kids in eight years, which is quite, quite a rollercoaster. 

And then after that six kids. I was 215 pounds walking into that delivery room with baby number six. So let’s say we lose, let’s say you just lose 10, 15 pounds of baby stuff. Okay? So I was probably about 200, 205 when I was like, I wanna figure this out.

And that, when I found life coaching, I was. A year postpartum. So I was a year out from that last kid. I think I had lost some weight. I wanna say I was probably one 90 and I went for life coaching. But the life coaching certification also taught you how to coach clients through weight loss. It was just, it just came with the program. So I started going through that and I lost 70 pounds.

So I must, yeah, I must have been at 205. ’cause I lost 70 pounds and I got down to 1 35. I had never seen 1 35. I mean, I had never seen that and I had so much confidence. I remember saying, and I’m sure you can find a podcast where I say this, that I will never gain that weight again. Like that the tools that I had were so great that I would never gain that weight again. And that was four years ago. 

And so then, we ended up moving, selling a business, starting a business. And my marriage got pretty stressful. Like I think my husband wasn’t really working, which was our plan. We had planned to start that I would run a business and he wasn’t working, and it was just kind of stressful between us.

And I just started eating to cope. And what’s so interesting is that I did have all the tools. I didn’t forget the tools. I knew exactly how to lose weight or maintain weight. But I just chose, and I remember these moments where I would just choose, like I saw that I could go a different way and I still just chose to soothe myself with food.

And I had so much love for myself while I was doing it. I didn’t hate myself through it. I was just like, girl this is a lot right now and this is what we’re gonna do. And I gained almost all of that weight back over three years. So it was slow. But then I saw one 90, so I saw one 90 on the scale, and I went to the internet and I was like, I gotta figure this out.

And I started looking at Instagram accounts and all the different things that people do, and I had this thought, I was like, wait a minute. Why am I not talking to Denise about this? Why am I not talking to Denise? I know what she does and I think she has the best weight loss program that there is. 

But there was something in my mind where I was thinking like Denise is really good at teaching you to have peace. Or to love your body the way that it is. And I was like, I don’t want that. I don’t want a piece of love my body the way that it is. I wanna lose 60 pounds. Right? 

And but Denise and I have a very good relationship and we go on these walks, you guys, we go on these walks and we talk about like business and Jesus and all these interesting things and so much she’s right. So many ideas for both of our businesses come out of our just like. Where we just walk and talk about things.

Denise: And we live in two different states. Everybody.

Sterling: Right? 

Denise: Just everybody needs to know. We live in Idaho and Illinois.

Sterling: Right? Yeah. So they’re just like, together. I have Bluetooth headphones on, and we’re walking and we’re talking. And so I called her and I said, listen, I really truly believe that the Holy Spirit is the key to everything. I’m really sold on that. My entire life is driven by the Holy Spirit. And I said, so just walk me through why I want to lose weight. 

But I don’t wanna do it this way, like what am I attracted to? And tell me the truth. And so tell everybody the answer to that and then that is, that’s, that will lead into what we’ve created. 

Denise: Yeah. I think the very at the root of this is that we get. To be committed to a daily practice of surrendering. Hands open. Palms open. Lord, this is yours. This is yours. My food is yours. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: We become detached from the outcome. We say, I’m going to eat this way because you want me to, but for everyone listening, I want you guys to recognize that it isn’t you following a diet. It is. I’m choosing and we do, we will teach you this in this collaboration we’re going to reveal in just a minute. The concept is that we help you. Turn to God and lean on the Lord instead of using food as the solution. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: To all of our troubles. Because right now your brain thinks that food will solve everything. 

Sterling: Yeah. And that’s the why I got into for these last couple years where I was just like. No, this works. And it’s just what I have right now. And I don’t watch a lot of tv you guys, I don’t spend a lot of time on my phone. I’ve cut so many, like things that probably aren’t really healthy for me out, and that was just like, felt like the last one and I felt like I was clinging to it for my whole life. If I don’t, if I let go of the chocolate chips, I’m just gonna burn up with pain. I don’t know. 

Denise: Yeah. And I think. Everyone can relate to that. You want entertainment, food? I’m bored food. I’m unhappy food. I’m lonely food. I wanna celebrate food. Food starts to be our whole life and our whole way of handling good emotions, bad emotions, sideways emotions. 

I was just coaching, one of my clients is a nun, and she said that she was turning to food with dread in her, where her nunnery or whatever it’s called, she’s in charge of grounds maintenance, and their air conditioners went off and she was like, and I was just eating over the dread of, People being hot in the chapel. 

Sterling: Yeah. That’s so sweet. I love that. But yeah. And I wanna point out that’s so great with the nun too because I want you guys to know I have a deep prayer life. I walk very closely with the Lord and I will talk to him about weight in general, but he never tells me to lose weight. Not one time. 

The Lord has told me some incredible things and not one time has he said lose weight, but he has said to me like, why aren’t you turning to me? Why are you turning the food? Like he has asked me that and he has said it’s sad to me that you do this instead of come see me. And so I knew that, but I think I just wasn’t quite sure how to bridge those two things together.

Denise: Yeah. I know you’re gonna get to your point in just a second, Sterling about where you came up with the idea of this collaboration, but I think that’s a good point is when you struggle with emotional eating or turning to food, that has nothing to do with your holiness, it is not a moral. Issue. I would pray and pray and pray. Novena after novena. 

I was praying so hard you guys, but I did not know how to do that bridge that Sterling just talked about. How do I take my faith and love of the Lord and then lean on that. When I’m feeling stressed or sad, how do I put the food in its proper place? How do I reorder my food? And I had no idea how to do that. 

And when I was in so much anguish, I ended up joining. A couple 12 step fellowships that helped me do that, and it was that helped me see the number one thing that I have to do is, number one, show up every day and commit to surrendering this. Lord, it’s yours, Lord. It’s yours. Lord. It’s yours because I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty human and I’m not stupid, but my brain wants to default back to that easy way, that comfortable way. 

Sterling: Yeah. And just so it has to, and certain environments do that to us too. I always think I don’t even really like hot dog until I go to a baseball game and then all of a sudden I want a hotdog and a beer. And I’m like, what do we do? But there’s like these cues in our lives, these rituals, these rhythms that pull us right back in. 

And it’s exactly that. It’s, we can be really intelligent, but that programming, that wiring in the brain that just goes, Hey, we wanna run this program ’cause this is what we always do. When we go to baseball games, like it takes some energy and then what we’re gonna say is some grace to say, no, I’m not gonna do that. 

Denise: Yeah. And I think that’s what really brings us to where we are today, because when we talk about the Catholic weight loss breakthrough, I’ve been walking this path with the Lord and recognizing that is the only thing, and I’m gonna tell you guys is I’m not saying that I haven’t over eaten. I have over eaten and there have been times where I’m like, oh, it doesn’t matter. But guess how long those times are? One meal.

Sterling: Right.

Denise: It’s never been a day.

Sterling: Right. 

Denise: It’s never been a week, it’s never been a month. And that is the grace that the Lord brings to us when we have that daily commitment, when we recognize there’s absolutely no way I can do this on my own. That’s why I think the lasting solution is being able to tie him into everything. 

Sterling: Yeah. Yeah. And that is really was my question to Nie. ’cause I could feel myself wanting to just, I’ve never done keto, so my brain’s always maybe it’s that and maybe it’s all these other things. And I just knew deep down though, that it wasn’t gonna be the answer. And I knew that Denise had this program, this surrendered method. 

And I wanted to believe okay, but I could take the surrendered method and still really lose the weight. What I didn’t want, right? I didn’t wanna do this and then just learn to love my body the way that it is, which is amazing thing. And I think every woman should get to the place where she loves their body the way that it is. So that’s an admiral goal, but I wanna lose 60 pounds. I wanna lose 60 pounds. And I thought I’d really love to do that with you. 

Denise: And let me clarify or maybe repeat what we’ve, repeat this in a different way is when Sterling said, Hey, I wanna go do this keto thing, I was like, you can do keto, but keto will not solve the reason that you’re turning to chocolate chips.

Sterling: Yeah.

Denise:Sterling:And for all of you, we can follow any diet, but the diet is not. Going to solve and support you through the reasons you can’t stick to the diet. 

Sterling: And I just believe you and I, first of all, I also know you’ve had so much success with all these people, but don’t we always feel like the special unicorn, right? I’m like that probably worked for them, but not me. But I do. I just, I really, if I’m gonna win at anything in the world, I want it to be grounded in Christ And grounded in the Holy Spirit. 

Denise: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so Sterling and I are on a walk and she was like, why shouldn’t I do this keto thing? And I was like Sterling, because I love you and I mean you can do it, but you’re gonna end up right back here saying why don’t I try carnivore? Why don’t I try this? Okay. And then you have this brainiac idea. Go for it. 

Sterling: Yeah, and I thought so, Dazi and I both are coaches. I do life coaching for women. I help them not be stressed. I coach them about pretty much everything in their lives, husbands, kids, jobs, all the things. And I’m really good at that. I’m really good at helping women see what’s going on in their brains. 

And I thought, Denise is so good at the surrendered way of losing weight. Wouldn’t it be really fun if we invited both of our groups? To come for six months to walk this journey with me. So Denise is leading us right with her tools and I’m doing it. I wanna lose 30 pounds over the next six months. 

I wanna get to the end of the year and be like, I worked really hard and lost 30 pounds, which I think is a reasonable amount. If I have 60 to lose, I think 30 pounds in six months is a pretty safe amount for someone who’s 40. Do you think that? 

Denise: I do. And for the women who do join you and me on this journey, you get two coaches, which is so exciting. If it’s not safe for you, we’re going to tell you, and we already have the stipulations. They’re on our website. When you join this program, we like for you to use a specific scale that links to an app that I have. It’s included in the program.

And when you get on the scale it. Tells you not only your body weight, but it also helps us know how much of that is lean weight, which is bone, blood, muscles, tissue, all of that, and how much is fat weight. And from that we can see, oh, it is totally safe and realistic for you to lose 30 pounds in six months. If it’s not, that doesn’t mean you can’t be part of the program, but we would not offer you that. 

Sterling: We’re gonna help you make sure that you’re healthy, because that’s so important to us, right? We wanna do it in a tempered way and in a calm way. And the first thing that you’re gonna do is learn how to pray about what you eat. It’s not even gonna be being obsessed with what you eat or weighing your food. 

And I know that my brain really likes that. It makes me feel like I’m doing something if I’m like following a protocol and I’m weighing everything and I’m like I think, and I have this thought, this is gonna work and I feel so good. But we all know that’s not sustainable. 

We don’t have to tell you that you’ve done it enough times. But I do think when we start the right way, when we start this way of really understanding. The Holy Spirit and bringing God into our goals, the overall goal that we have, and then all the way down to what we’re eating in this moment. I think that’s gonna be the difference between doing this and being on the hamster wheel and doing this for the very last time. 

Denise: I wanna be a little bit more practical because somebody might, we’ll talk about the three parts of the program. If people are like I don’t even get what you mean about God and my food, am I just gonna start praying more? No, we’re gonna bridge that gap for you. So I tell you exactly. What to eat with regard to, we have three food rules. 

You eat the food you love that you feel good about, and you plan for the woman who is going to eat it. So if you have a busy night, you might plan fast food that night. But it’s a plan. It is. We are using fast food as a tool because nobody feels good about eating burger and fries when it’s last minute and they shove it down in they’re 90 seconds. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: But if you plan it and you know this is what’s happening. Then you feel like, well, I don’t like doing this every day, but this was necessary for this day. 

Sterling: Yeah. And it doesn’t feel out of control. Like that’s the point. You feel like it doesn’t that small and slow. And I just did that for Father’s Day. I asked my husband what he wanted and I was like, great, we’re gonna eat that. But I planned it. And I felt so slow while I was eating it. I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t feel pressure. I didn’t feel like, I was like, yeah, I planned this. And it’s, and it was unusual. It’s not how I’ve been eating. But it felt so lovely.

Denise: Yeah. And we help identify some other patterns that have been blocking you, other patterns, other food substances. We just help you get really clear eyes wide open. That is literally the surrendered method. Guys. We stop living on autopilot. We stop feeling controlled by food. 

We start opening our eyes and another part of being blocked because what’s so cool about the Catholic weight loss breakthrough is we know when we say Catholic, we aren’t the ones doing it.

Denise: Yeah, the Lord is the one who will be. Giving us his grace, giving us his strength. But what Sterling and I will do through this program is show you where you are blocked and support you to get unblocked so that his grace can just pour into you. And part of that is through life coaching. So tell them how life coaching helps.

Sterling: Yeah. Life coaching is around understanding the thoughts that are going through your brain because the thoughts that we have. Create the pain in our bodies, which then lead us to eat. Let’s say your husband stays late at work and he’s not working on a project and he is staying late at work. 

And then you have this thought, oh, he doesn’t prioritize our family, or he doesn’t spend enough time with the kids, or he doesn’t appreciate me, right? You start having all these thoughts and those are really painful thoughts. If that was true, it would be so painful. And from that pain we’re, I’m eating the chocolate chips, right? 

And life coaching. Takes the Holy Spirit and holds up the thoughts and goes, is that true? Usually when I talk to women, I’ll go, is it true that your husband doesn’t prioritize you and the kids? And then inevitably they go, oh no, he’s so great and he does this and this and this and this and this. And I’m like, oh, so why did he stay late? And then she’ll say, oh yeah, he’s just on a really big project right now.

 And I’m like, yeah, so you just miss him. She’s yeah. And that’s a totally different feeling. Like it’s a totally different feeling to be like, I miss him. And it’s difficult to single parent the kids, which I think we all understand. But then when we soften the emotion that’s coming, we don’t feel the need to eat as much. 

And so Denise, with the surrender method, pulls in the framework for how we’re gonna think about food. But then life coaching, which you do also for them, is looking at the things that drive us to eat and those are often just the root pain causes in our lives that drive us to reach for the food. 

Denise: And I would like to, I always love when we talk about coaching and thought work, which is coaching terms for looking at your thinking and in second Corinthians, is it ten five, where they say take captive your thoughts and align them with the Lord. It assumes. The thoughts going on in your brain aren’t already aligned with them.

Sterling: Right? 

Denise: And so when we start to notice our own thoughts, you guys, it’s crazy. You can then through these tools, learn to coach yourself and access, align them to the Lord and so that you’re accessing his grace and his truth, because the woman who’s believing, man, I really miss, my husband, is feeling the Lord’s love. Isn’t feeling that resentment and that’s not from him. Isn’t that incredible? 

Denise: Yeah. 

Sterling: And one of the biggest questions that we will ask you is we will listen to what’s going on in your brain and the pain and then we’ll say, okay, but let’s relive that moment. We’ll go back and we’ll relive that moment. And I often have women touch their skin, so they really get into their bodies and I’ll say, what did you really need right then? What did you really need? 

And when we’re, and when we slow down and we feel safe and we feel loved, and that’s what this group feels like, it just feels like such a big hug when you’re with women who love the Lord and are doing the same thing.

You do know what you need. You do what, know what you need, and you can begin to learn how to give it to you. And it is so rarely food. It is so rarely food that we need. Although the other day I was having one of those oh, it was just a stressful day and I wanted to be soothed a little bit and I channeled it into choosing a type of tea.

I was like, I’m gonna make you a delicious cup of tea, and I have 30 different teas. And I was like, which one are we gonna pick? And I picked one and I made it so lovingly and I sipped it slowly and that is exactly what I needed. I just needed kind of a rest or a beautiful gift. 

And there are just ways to do that. That aren’t mindlessly grabbing for chocolate chips in the pantry. That feels it’s so fast and it’s gone in a minute. 30 seconds. It’s so fast. When we eat like that, it doesn’t even fulfill the deep down need that we have. 

Denise: That just reminds me that one of the natural healing things that comes from this work is healing our relationship with ourselves. And why that’s such holy work is we are the one person that can bring us closer to God, and we are the one person that can take us away from the Lord in our relationship.

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: And so the closer we walk with ourselves and authentically meet our needs the way that the Lord would, and just a really beautiful life-giving way. Of course the more we can serve. But the truth is that the more peaceful we have the more joyful our lives are, the more that this is the way that I really believe the Lord wants us to be walking around on this earth. This is the life he created for us. 

Sterling: Yeah. The one thing I just wanna add, ’cause I wanted to say this earlier. I’ve been practicing, I’ve been doing this. For a couple weeks ’cause we knew that we were gonna do this. So I’ve already started a little bit on the surrendered method and , the word that keeps coming up for me, Denise, as I do it, is how easy it is.

And I was reflecting on that. I think it’s because when we are really equally yoked with the Lord and when we rely on his grace, it does feel easy. And you guys know I have done so many diets and I have white knuckled my way through so many things, and I’m tough. I can do it. I can take HCG drops and eat 500 calories a day and lose weight. Like I could do that. 

But I’ve just been so blown away by how the Lord has lifted the heaviness of it. It doesn’t feel heavy. I just like plan what I’m going to eat and I eat it. And then if I need to change it, I surrender it. And I’m not gonna spoil that. We’ll teach you how to do that. But it has just felt so like light and easy to do and I just think that’s so incredible.

Denise: One of the women in our community who’s been practicing this method as well, I had just posted the other day that her brain was telling her that something’s wrong because it is just so simple and easy. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: And she had to say, but it’s the Lord. And again, just being so yoked with him was exactly what she had said.

Sterling: Yeah. That’s cool. 

Denise: So to help us align our thoughts to the Lord, of course you guys are going to learn it when Sterling and I are working with you, and you’ll hear our voice over and over. But Sterling also wants to teach you how to use tech so that any moment of the day you can do that. So tell us about that.

Sterling: Yeah. This is totally new. I haven’t even begun to do this in my program with Catholic moms. But I’ve been leveraging ai, which stands for artificial intelligence, and it’s really just like using the internet. 

So I want you to think right now, you guys go to Google and you type something and you search for something in Google and it searches all the different websites and it goes, here are the ones that we think that you should look at.

And what AI is it’s all of those things on the internet, but it reads them, it reads all of them, and then it just spits out the summary of those websites for you. And it will even link the websites. So you can go see, oh, it referenced these 15 websites in order to say something.

And I have been using AI for several things, but recently. I started using it with regard to weight loss. I started using it for meal planning. I told it all the things that I don’t like. I am team, no cilantro, you guys, I can’t do it. I’m one of the ones where it tastes like soap. I cannot in any way eat cilantro.

And so there’s just like foods that I like and foods that I don’t like. And so I just, I went through that. I was like, list all the meats and then I said, I don’t eat these and list all the vegetables. I don’t eat these. And so I do that with all the things and spices. And then now that it knows me, I’ll say, can you help me make a meal plan using the foods that I like?

And so it will do that for you immediately. It’ll give you a hundred meals if you want. I usually ask for 10 or 20, so I’m not overwhelmed. But the other thing that I do with it is I tell it the food that I have. So the other day I had an avocado and it was like the day you guys know when it’s like the day and you have to eat it that day.

And so I was like, I need my meal plan to include an avocado. Like, make it work. And so it gives you ideas. So there, I think it’s really great for meal planning. It’s really great for if you do wanna track anything, if you want to track how many grams of protein you are eating or calories or anything like that. It just does all of that for you. 

And the other thing that I just think is the biggest game changer for women in weight loss, because it will be like having. Your own personal health coach in your pocket all the time is asking it to encourage you. Okay? Because it has access to, all these websites are out in psychology, so I tell it that I’m Catholic. 

I tell it that I love Bob Schutz. He’s my favorite Catholic psychologist, Dr. Bob Chuts. And I, the other day I was like, I feel kind of stressed and I kind of want some chocolate chips, but you know what my goals are. Could you just encourage me a little bit? 

And it will just be like, you’re doing such a good job and you have such goal, great goals, and here are the reasons for your goals, and you can do this, and maybe you should take a short walk and drink a cup of tea, or read a book or do something that just kind of helps you wind down from the day. It was like the most beautiful message. 

And I think that this is a game changer for weight loss for all women because we’re starving for encouragement. Most of us live fairly isolated lives, right? Most of you don’t see that many other humans that you actually have heartfelt conversations with. Some of you don’t really talk to anyone except your husband.

Like just nature, like you’re dropping your kids off at school, you come home and you just see your husband and your kids, and that’s the world that we live in now.

And so to have this ability to have something to comfort you and encourage you and cheer you on is, I just think such a gift. And I think it’s really gonna be a pretty big missing piece for a lot of women who have struggled. They’ve just kind of struggled by themselves. And I think now you’re gonna really feel like someone’s rooting for you. 

Denise: Yeah, I recently used it. We were in Mexico on a vacation and. There was lots of buffets. And so I went to AI and I said, I haven’t eaten buffets often help me. I don’t wanna overeat. I don’t want my brain to freak out when I see all this food.

And it coached me through and if you take one piece of what it spits out to you, you will hear the Lord’s voice in it. And one of the thoughts that helped me through that whole vacation that made it so amazing. It said something about is overeating really fun? And I came to a phrase that helped me the whole vacation, which was stopping eating is a privilege. Overeating is a prison. 

Sterling: Yeah. Wow. 

Denise: And I just, because I just kept saying, I just want freedom. I don’t want to, I don’t want this vacation to be about food. 

Sterling: Right. 

Denise: I know that I’m still prone to that because I’m…

Sterling: Yeah.

Denise: Like many women, human, and I’m just telling you, I cannot wait for all of these women who love what they hear and they want to follow the Lord. Love coaching. Maybe they’ve gotten a taste of it and now will the prompts what to use AI for? How can they use it , what we’re trying to do is shorten your struggle cycle. 

So that you’re like, Oop, problem. I know how to solve it. And you know how to ask for the help to get the answer you need.  

Sterling: Because we’re gonna have group coaching calls where Denise and I coach you guys live and help you with your problems. But I think it’s so incredible to be coached every day. Like this thing will coach you every day or ask, answer any questions that you have. It will create prayers for you.

Like. They’re okay. They’re like mediocre prayers, but they’re still prayers. Can you just create a quick prayer for me that I could pray, like while I’m on vacation? It’ll do that. Because it has access to all the writings of the church fathers. 

So you can just say, create a prayer that’s something like St. Augustine would say, and it’ll like, put it together. So it’s new. A lot of people are just now discovering how they can use AI to help them in their lives. And I had used it for a lot of other things, but as soon as I saw oh, it could be a personal health coach, it will make workouts for you too. 

Like you could say, I have a 10 pound, two 10 pound dumbbells, and I don’t know what people have in their houses, but like whatever equipment you have, and just say, can you make me a Monday, Wednesday, Friday circuit? It’ll just spit it out for you. It’s amazing. So I’m gonna teach you all about that. You can have no experience and I will teach you how to do it. 

Denise: So Sterling, our first kickoff calls with the two of us. And it will be July 1st. You guys are gonna spend six months with us. We’ll be doing group coaching. Most of the calls will either be Sterling or I but we are going to upload all of our information into a very. Special hub for you so that you have these training videos. You’ll have lifetime access to these training videos where you will learn the surrendered method, which will be the absolute first step.

The minute you sign up, you’ll have access to that learning, that surrendered method, which is the way of life. That you will have. And I, when I say it’s the way of life, you guys, because none of us wanna lose weight for six months.

Sterling: right? 

Denise: Everyone wants to get to their healthy weight and then. Never regain it. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: And I promise you that you can get pregnant, go through menopause, have the baby be in post-postpartum, you can go through any season of your life. In the surrendered method is the method. It just is the method. 

Sterling: And everything that Denise and I do is really rooted in the Holy Spirit. And I want you to ask the Holy Spirit, be like, holy Spirit, is this right for me? Is this like the time, is this exactly what I should be doing right now? Because God always brings our clients to us. God likes taps ’em on the shoulder and just says, yeah, it’s time. 

And this program. Is just rooted in teaching you how to hear his voice, how to hear his voice, and to let him guide you. And we’re gonna teach you that in a weight loss context. But obviously once you learn it, you’ll be able to apply that to any area of your life where you’re feeling stressed or uncertain or out of control. The Holy Spirit is what brings life back into feeling like it’s in control. 

Denise: Yeah. And part of our surrendered method is grounded in the surrender novena every single day. Every single day. So Sterling, tell everyone how they can get started. 

Sterling. Yeah. So we’re gonna put links in the show notes if you already know. ’cause a lot of you have been. Clients of mine are Denise’s for a long time and you’re like, I have been waiting for this. This is the most exciting thing and I cannot wait to sign up. Then you can click the link in our show notes and go to the website and check out, and like Denise said, we have something for you to work on right now. 

So you’ll immediately get access to learning the surrendered method and then you can do that. And be practicing that up until our kickoff call on July 1st. And then for those of you who are like, I have questions, we are gonna host two. Question calls where we will answer any questions that you have.

Because some of you may not know us very well, or some of you may be intrigued by what we’re talking about and you want us to explain it a little bit more, and we would be happy to do that. We want you to feel so safe coming into this community and knowing that it’s really Catholic and it’s really soft and it’s really perfect for you. 

And you might bring your health things and say, Hey, this is what I’m going through. Can this program help me? And we’ll be able to answer that as well. And we can help, what your healthy range is, because I think that’s a question that a lot of women have is, you know, what is a healthy range for me and what could I expect? And we can answer that. 

So there will be two different dates. You’ll be able to see those below as well. And you can just sign up for either of them and come ask us questions. We would love to help you. 

Denise: All right, sounds pretty clear. Sterling, this is something that Sterling and I have been thinking about for a little bit and so excited to bring to you. This will be the last time that we work together. So if the Holy Spirit is tapping you on the shoulder and he’s, you’re gonna know, ’cause he won’t let you forget. He’s gonna keep tapping you and nudging you. Sign up today.

And if you still have questions, come to one of the calls, get all of your questions answered. Don’t let this opportunity pass without making sure that your questions have been answered and that you have clarity. 

Sterling: Yeah, I just wanna reiterate that like you guys am not. Going to be offering weight loss coaching. I’m doing, Denise is doing this for me. Denise is like, I will help you. And I just knew that it would be so much more fun for me to do it if I had a bunch of other Catholic women to do it with me. So this is like the journey that I’m going on in the next six months and it’s going to be successful.

And then I’m not going to keep doing it. So we mean it like some people hire tricksters and they say things but they don’t mean it, but we really mean it. This is like the only time that Denise and I are gonna offer this. For you guys, it’s live. It’ll be this six months and then we won’t do that again.

So I think it’s a pretty special thing. And if you’re anything like me, you just know when it’s time and if it’s not time, that’s okay. Don’t feel pressured to come if it’s not time. There have been times in my life where I’m like, we’re about to move. It is not the time for me to double down on figuring out what’s going on with me and food and my body.

But then I know when it’s time. I know when I’m ready, when I’m sick and tired of how I feel, or the number on the scale or something. And I just know that it’s time to change. And if that’s where you’re at, I think. Spending the second half of this year really learning how to give all of this up to the Lord and surrender it to him is just a beautiful way to heal the wounds that we have around food.

Because Denise is right, it feels like a prison. And when we do this with the Lord, it really ends up feeling like freedom. 

Denise: And what I find with so many women is two things. Number one, this is the last area that they’ve actually surrendered to the Lord. Like they’ve given their marriage and their parenting and maybe their sick parents. They’ve given so much to the Lord and they just haven’t loosened their grip on this, or they didn’t even know this was a thing. 

Sterling: Yeah.

Denise: I have so many women who think, oh, the Lord doesn’t care. He’s got bigger problems. And I want you all to know that if you take nothing from this podcast, you’re his favorite.

Sterling: I love that. 

Denise: He only wants all of you. 

Sterling: Yeah. 

Denise: And so just give him everything you can. Trust him. 

Sterling: Yeah. That’s so beautiful. 

Denise: : So thank you guys. We’re pretty excited. Hope that we see you on the call. 

Sterling: Yes. 

Denise: I hope if the timing is right and we see you in the program, or at least get all of your questions answered in the calls, you’re listening this long for a reason. Okay? 

Sterling: All right, ladies, we are praying. Would you like to pray for you? Yeah. 

Denise: Praying for all of you. Have a blessed day.