Problem Solving and Transitions

And because we feel insecure, like we don’t know what to do. We just shut down. We shut down. We don’t problem solve. And we don’t access the part of our brain. That’s good at problem solving, but it’s just because of what we’re thinking, because I guarantee you, if you’re a mom, you are good at problem solving. So I want you to just tell yourself that I’m a killer problem solver. I am good at solving problems, and I want you to be more free with tubing and Googling things. There are so many things that we just kind of sit around and think about when we could just immediately type it into Google or type it into YouTube and find an answer. And so I want you to tuck that into the back of your mind. Oh, I could probably look this up and maybe there’s a quick answer there. Isn’t always a quick answer, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to know if there were, so you are a great problem solver. I want you right now. Think about something that’s challenging in your life.

And if you knew that you were a good problem solver and there were things you hadn’t tried yet, want one, baby, just kind of open your mind to that. How would you do it? What are at least some good questions that you could ask? Is there someone, you know, who could help you? Is there a resource that’s kind of within your sphere? Someone, you know, someone who knows someone, even a Facebook group, you could ask just want you to feel more open when we are stressed and we’re worried about money or health or time really creates tension in our bodies. And then we shut down. And again, we’re not great problem solvers. So open yourself up.

And then I also want you to invite the best problem solver of all in, and that’s the holy spirit. You like, Lord got this thing going on, need your help. Can you help me, Lord, I want you to cultivate this muscle, both the skill and the belief that you are a good problem solver. I’m telling you it makes motherhood so much easier. So the next thing we wanna talk about is transitions with the kids. And I just did this on the daily podcast, the Catholic mom mindset podcast. If you guys are not listening to that, you should go check it out. Catholic mom mindset. It’s a daily five minute podcast and I do it on iTunes. And I also do it on YouTube as a video, but it was such a great topic that I wanted to share it here too. And that is my dad was visiting recently.

And he said, Sterling, you do such a good job of telling the kids. What’s about, what’s about to happen. And this I think was something I just didn’t even realize that I did. But as he mentioned that I’ve noticed it more and more where I prepare the kids for just the sequence of events that’s about to happen. And I especially prepare for them. If something is gonna come up that I know they’re not going to enjoy. And I use this phrase, okay, prepare your heart. And I usually say that to the little boys about nap time, prepare your heart. We’re gonna eat lunch and then it’s gonna be nap time. And it’s okay if you don’t wanna go to nap and you don’t feel like it, but that’s what’s happening. Right. So I never make the kids be happy about things, but I do expect them to do it.

And then sometimes I will tell them the response I would like too, like, okay, I’m gonna come back in a little bit and I’m gonna tell you that it’s time to get jammies on. And I want you to say yes, mom, can you guys practice that right now? Yes, mom. Great. I’m you’re gonna play for 10 more minutes. I’m gonna come back and I’m gonna tell you that it’s time for bed. We’re gonna put our jammies on and you’re gonna say, yes, mom, just preparing them for what’s coming because kids, you know, every 10 minutes feels like an hour to them. They have no idea what’s going on. They have very little concept of time. I mean, really. I can see it. My little boys when they wake up from a nap or from sleeping overnight are kind of the same to them.

Sometimes they’ll say good morning. And I’ll say, well, it’s the afternoon and we’re gonna eat dinner soon. And so preparing them is important and it helps equip them. I think, with this concept of planning. And then when I’m putting them down to nap or to bed, I will often say, what is something that we can look forward to when you wake up? So my five year old often says a brother bath. He loves taking a bath with blaze. And then Peter lately has been saying airplane. He has this little plastic airplane. And he says that and then sometimes they wanna go swimming, but I’ll be honest with them. Like, Ooh, we’re probably not gonna go swimming when we wake up. If that’s the case, sometimes we do. And I will tell them that. But just building in this, I’m telling you what’s about to happen.

I’m preparing you emotionally for something that isn’t pleasant. And then when we’re getting ready to do the unpleasant thing, we’re thinking about something fun that we’re gonna do afterwards. And this is one of the things I teach my clients to do because as moms we’re often just running around, serving everyone else. And there are a lot of things we do that we don’t feel like doing. And I think that’s completely fine, but I like to build in something I’m gonna look forward to later. So I’ll say, okay, you know, we’re gonna do this thing. We’re gonna put the little boys down. That’s kind of a circus. And then after that, we’re gonna put your CHAM on. We’re gonna make some blueberry tea and we’re gonna read that book that we just got.

And I do it to myself too. I tell myself what’s going on. And if there’s something challenging, I think of something beyond that, that I can look forward to. So we do this with the whole family though, where I gather the kids and I kind of tell them, Hey, here’s the next three things that are happening. I don’t tell them the whole day. Usually the older they get, the more I communicate with them about longer periods of time, but I’ll say, okay, we’re gonna eat breakfast and we’re gonna do chores. And then we’re gonna have some free time.

Then it’s gonna be lunch. Or, you know, I have two hours of calls and then I’m gonna come out and we’re gonna go for a walk. And so I just wanna share this skill with you because I think it’s really helpful for the kids. And it’s probably helpful for you too. It’s probably helpful for you to think, okay, what are we doing for the next three hours? What can I communicate to the kids? So pay attention to your day today or tomorrow. See if you can practice this with your children, particularly the younger set, just kind of letting them know what’s going on, but in a positive way. And then if there’s something challenging that’s coming up, you can say, okay, prepare your heart. You might feel frustrated. You might feel disappointed. You may not want to go to nap and you can say, all right, yes, mom, or, okay.

And then after, after you go to nap, when we wake up, this is what we’re gonna do. And I think this is one way to make your home run go more smoothly. And to be honest, I just think it’s so easy that, you know, we, as moms, get busy and we just kind of forget to tell the kids what’s going on. I know that’s so easy for me, just, you know, breakfast and the day gets going. And then I’m just kind of doing the things that are in front of me. But the more that I prepare the kids, the more I notice that we have less tantrums, less meltdowns.

And it’s not even that we do the same thing all the time. So you don’t even have to have the kind of a rigid routine that you do every day, but just sequencing it out, telling them what’s gonna happen in the next few hours in the next three things. I don’t think I ever tell them more than three things, particularly for the, you know, seven and under crowd. But I just wanted to share this with you because it’s so easy for us to be reactive in our lives and just go through the motions and then pour ourselves into bed at the end of the night and think, whew, that was a long day, but I want you to take more control over your life than that. I want you to be more intentional for you and for the kids, and it will feel better. Your day will run more smoothly, unexpected things may still happen. But when we just take a moment to think about what’s coming up and communicate it to our family, our homes feel better, a little more organized, a little more thoughtful, and a little less chaotic. Now nothing saves me from having six kids and all the noise and stuff that comes along with that. But

I can work to be the peace center of my home. And one of the ways I do that is this. And I, I’m not sure I realized it before until my dad pointed it out. And I thought, yeah, I guess I do do that a lot. And I think it’s just one of the things that has evolved naturally over time. But this is a really simple thing that you can try to bring a little bit more order and calm to your home. And that’s our goal here at made for greatness, right? We wanna help moms to be the peace center of their homes, to quiet the chaos in their minds so they can hear the holy spirit and do what he made you to do. He made you for something for many somethings and the calmer we are.

And the more we control what’s going on in our minds, the better we hear his voice and the better we feel those little nudging, the more we slow down and connect with our kids, get down on their level or boot them on the nose or give them a extra long hug. We want more of that. And so I just thank all of you for listening to this podcast. It’s been such a beautiful work for us, and we know it’s touched so many lives. And I just appreciate you. I think about talking to this army of moms, even though I can’t see you, any of you right now, it’s just very special. And I’m praying for you. I’m praying for our families, Catholic families, that we may shine brightly as strong examples in the world. Thank you for being here and for giving us your time. And remember you were Made for Greatness.