We Believe What We Tell Ourselves

July 14, 2021

In this episode, Lorissa talks about the stories we tell ourselves and the power those stories have in our lives. Some of the negative stories can hold us back or even derail us from getting the results we want to get in our lives. 

Lorissa challenges us to spend some time reflecting on the stories that may no longer be serving us and intentionally create some new ones that will help us move forward, take action, dream big and get massive results. 

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”  Pope Benedict XVI


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Hello friends. Welcome to episode 37 of Made For Greatness. I am your host today, Lorissa Horn, and we are going to be talking about the stories that we tell ourselves. I am so excited about this episode today. This is an episode that I have been thinking about praying about for at least a month. So this is kind of been on my heart and I hope and pray that this message that I have for you today will really resonate with you. That maybe it might challenge you a little bit. It might challenge. I know it challenges me and I think that’s why I like it so much because I love being challenged. I love when kind of sometimes people call me out a little bit. I know that sounds kind of funny, but I want to grow. I want to be someone that’s always growing and that’s why I love the whole concept of Pope Benedict, where he said, “You’re not made for comfort. You’re made for greatness.”

And so I think sometimes we need good friends to pull us out of our comfort zone. So whatever you’re doing right now, just realize like, I’m your good friends sitting with you today wanting to push you out of your comfort zone a little bit. So let’s get started with this. First of all, you’ve probably all heard this quote. We believe almost everything we tell ourselves, this is one of those quotes. That’s so true. And this is what I want to talk about when it comes to the stories that we tell ourselves now. So often we will have a thought about ourselves. And if we keep repeating that thought over and over and over again, it becomes a belief and our brain and its desire and its ability to be efficient. That’s like how, like our brain is amazing. And its goal is to be as efficient as possible.

It starts to recognize when we start having certain thoughts over and over and over again, it doesn’t want to waste space with those thoughts. So what it does is if we have a thought over and over and over again, it becomes a belief system. That belief system will kind of fall into our subconsciousness so that we’re not using that thought a lot. It just becomes kind of like in the background, but once it becomes a belief, now I’ll stick with me. My be going, okay, this is a little confusing. I promise, I hope this all makes sense, but we will have thoughts. And some of these thoughts are thoughts that we’ve had ever since we’ve been like ever since we were a child, some of them have happened over the course of our life, into our adulthood. But whenever we have these thoughts that we have particularly about ourselves over and over and over again, we start to believe it.

Like we, we stop thinking, oh, it’s just a thought. We actually believe no, this is truth. And this is what I believe about myself. And once we have a story that we believe is true, it is really difficult to change. That story becomes part of our identity. That story becomes part of who we are and we become, we get really comfortable with that story. And for me, any of us, for many people, they will carry a story with them throughout their entire their life. And saying that it’s bad to have stories. It’s not bad to have beliefs about ourselves. We all do. But what I’m hoping this episode might do for all of us is, is that it might challenge some of the stories, not all of them, but possibly a couple. I’m going to give you some examples for me growing up, we as a family, as a child, like we were a family that always ran late.

We just always ran late, pretty much to everything, to church, to school, to family gatherings. And it’s not that it was a big deal or anything or anything that I’m ashamed about or embarrassed about it. It was just kind of who we were as a family. In fact, it was kind of a family joke with our extended family, that for any family events, they would always tell family that, you know, the party was going to be a half an hour earlier than it was just with the hopes. Maybe we would be a half an hour late, but then we would be on time. Sure. You can relate to this. Even if it’s not, you there’s somebody in your family. That’s like this. Like we all know someone that just runs late. Wait, well, this became really, I believe part of my identity. I was, I grew up like this and it was something like, even into my adult years that I just continued that, like, I just believed that I was somehow, then that ran late.

Like, you know, I would think, okay, I have to be somewhere at 5:00 PM. I would leave at like 4:55 and have to drive clear across town to be somewhere at five. Like I just never really computed it. But part of the reason why was like, I just, I believe this story that I was just someone that ran late. Like my family ran late. We were just people that ran late. This was who we were until a couple years ago when I started learning all about life coaching. And I started studying all of this stuff and the power of our thoughts, the power of our belief systems about ourselves and the power of our stories and the stories we tell ourselves. And that was one story that I was like, what if you don’t have to be someone that’s always late? I know you’re probably thinking, wow, this is a really profound, but for me it was, and I was like, oh, what if I could be someone?

Like, what if I could change that story? What if I could be someone that’s on time? And all of a sudden, like that possibility opened up for me. And I was like, okay, well, what would it look like to be someone that’s on time? Like what time do I need to leave the house in order to be somewhere on time? And so that started to become my new story. Now I want to say this because I spent most of my life living in the habit of always being late, changing that story. Hasn’t always been easy and there are still times that I’m late because it’s kind of part ingrained in me, but I am working at changing that story. And I’m very aware of it now. Like I’m like, oh, I don’t have to be someone that’s just always late. And so this is just like one little example about these stories that we tell ourselves.

And, and yet there’s so many, now I have another situation and I wanted to share with you of a different story that I had told myself, this was, this didn’t have a whole lot to do with my childhood, but it happened in my early twenties. Before I met Johnny, I had been in a, like an, a pretty long term relationship. We, I had dated this guy for about five years. I was absolutely convinced that I was madly in love with him and that we were going to get married. And this was the guy that was going to be with and all of that. And then all of a sudden he broke up with me and when he broke up with me, it was devastating. I was heartbroken. My whole world came, crashing down. It was really hard for me to deal with. And I even there was like that happened.

And then there was some other things that were going on in my life that were not so great at that same period of time. And so it just felt like everything was kind of crumbling. And I found myself really kind of spiraling into this place of a depression. It was, I was depressed. I was living in kind of this state of darkness. And I was starting to tell myself some stories that were really causing me actually a lot of pain. So some of those stories were that I started to like had had these thoughts and I started to believe these thoughts over and over things like, you’re not good enough. No guy is ever going to love you. You’re going to be lonely. You’ll never get married. Things like that. Like you’ll, nobody will find you attractive all of these things. And I started telling myself that over and over and over.

And of course that story became part of my belief system. And because of that, you can only imagine, like I was, I started to feel really down about myself. I kind of to some degree, just let myself go. Like I just, I stopped going out with my friends. I just wanted to stay home. I didn’t want to do anything. I stopped taking care of myself. I was just, I was just eating everything in sight. I, all of this stuff, like I just was depressed and really stopped caring about myself because I was like, no one is ever going to want to be with me. So of course I just completely let myself go. And this became my new story. I actually believed it. I believed that I wasn’t good enough. I believed that nobody would like me. I believed that I would probably spend the rest of my life just being lonely and sad.

And it’s funny because you know, if occasionally I did see a friend or talk to a friend on the phone, I would kind of tell them this story, this sad, pathetic story that I was totally believing and like any good friend, you know, my friends would be like, oh, Lorissa no, that’s not true. You are beautiful. And you, you will meet somebody and you will be happy all of that. But this is the deal because I had been telling myself the story, the sad, depressing, pathetic story, like that’s all I would believe. Like, even though my friends were trying to lift me up, trying to build me up, I just like, I couldn’t believe that because I was so busy convincing myself of this new narrative, this new story that was starting in some ways to become my new reality because I wasn’t going out.

I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was seeing around. So of course it would was like becoming like I was becoming true. And then I was like finding proof for this truth. Until one day I went to lunch with my mom and I’ll never forget it. Like I went to lunch with her. I was still, I was feeling really down about myself. And I w I started telling my mom this really sad story, the same story. I had been telling myself the same story. I was telling my friends. And I’ll never forget it. I am sitting there going, no guy’s ever going to like me. I’m never going to get married. I’m not good enough. All of this stuff. And my mom in her beautiful and very blunt way looked right at me. And she said, Lorissa, you are right. You are totally right. And I was like, what? And cause I was expecting her to be like, oh honey, sweet hurt. No, that’s not true. But she totally called me out on it. She was like, you’re right. No, guy’s gonna like you, you’re never gonna get married.

She’s like, and she’s like, cause who’s going to want to marry someone that sits around complaining and moping around doesn’t care about herself. She’s like, look at you, Lorissa. What was the last time you took a shower? And I was like, oh gosh, like days has been days. She’s like, you haven’t, you’re not showering. You’re not taking care of yourself. You’re not working out. And she’s like, she goes, you came to lunch today. You didn’t even put on any makeup. You didn’t do your hair. You’re like wearing sweats. Like who are you? And she’s just like, totally calling me out on this. And she was like, if you to, if you want to date someone, she’s like, you’re going to have to care about yourself. If you want some guy to care about you, you have to take, you have to start caring about yourself.

You need to be the type of woman that walks into a room, confident feeling good about herself, who like actually cares about the way she looks. And she’s like, that’s the kind of like, if you want to attract someone, you have to kind of put yourself out there and really actually care about yourself. So she’s like, yeah, she goes, you’re not going to meet anyone sitting at home, you know, eating ice cream and feeling sorry for yourself. No guy is going to be attracted to that. So get it together or a set and like actually take control of your life and show up how you want to like show up. And I have to admit that in the midst of this it’s stung a little bit, like it was like a little bit of a punch to the stomach. I will admit it, but it was like the kick in the pants that I needed.

I needed someone to call me out of my story. And my mom is like, she did a perfect job because I left lunch that day and I went home and I was like, I sat in my room and I was like, oh my gosh, my mom is so right. I can’t keep going on. Like this. I’ve been living like this now for a couple months. This is not who I am. I don’t want to live like this any more. And just the fact that just because some, like my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, that doesn’t have to be the end of my story. It just means that, that my story, I thought that this, I wasn’t have a life with this guy. It just means that God has a different plan for me and I need to move in that direction. And so, you know what I did, I pulled my tennis shoes out of the closet.

I put my gym clothes on. I packed my gym bag. I went, drove to the gym. I worked out and all of a sudden like I’m working out, feeling good, getting the oxygen and the blood flowing. I left the gym, came home. All of a sudden I started feeling so much better and came home. I took a shower. I did my hair, put some makeup on. I called a girlfriend of mine and I was like, Hey, you want to get together and went out that night. And literally everything changed in that one moment when I decided that my story could change and that it needed to change. And so all of a sudden I started to think about myself like, okay, this doesn’t have to be my story. What is the story I want to have? I want to be a woman that is confident about herself, who feels beautiful, who walks into a room and, and feels like she can talk to people.

And who does her hair who puts on makeup? Who cares about how she looks, who works out, who takes care of herself, all of these things. And sure enough, that’s how I started showing up in my life. That was my new story. My old story was like, oh, I’m just this pathetic loser who, who gets dumped and has like no life to becoming this woman. That’s like this young, I’m like a young woman that cares about herself, who is single and who is praying for her vocation and trusting in God and showing up as, as a confident young woman, that’s who I wanted to be. And that’s who I became. It was less than a year later that I met Johnny, my husband and I was in such a great place. I was physically at the, in like the best shape of my life.

I had been working out and running and like I was feeling great about myself. And I had completely become the woman that I wanted to be when I met my future spouse. And I’m so thankful that my mom had called me out because had she not, I could have spent so many more months just believing that story and had I done. So I don’t know like how I would have been when I met my husband. Like when I met Johnny, I would have been in a completely different space. I would have, maybe I wouldn’t have met him or maybe I wouldn’t have felt good about myself. I wouldn’t have, I would’ve been completely different. And so this is why I think it’s really important for us at times to pause, to look at our lives, to look at the stories that we’re telling ourselves. And maybe just take a little bit of inventory and say, okay, is this story really helping me?

Because there are a lot of things. There’s a lot of thoughts that we have about ourselves that actually really do help us. But then there’s, there’s these thoughts that have become beliefs that become these stories that maybe served us at one point. Maybe they never served us, but maybe we just believed them enough that they just became part of who we are a part of our identity and they no longer serve us anymore. Or we just decide, you know what, that’s not really who I want to be. So I’m going to give you some examples of maybe particularly negative stories. A lot of times we also call these like these limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves that really do hold us back. And I want to go back to this quote. Remember we believe almost everything we tell ourselves. That’s why it is so important for us to be conscientious about the things that we tell ourselves like I’m serious.

This is like really a big deal. So what are some of the, some of these thoughts? What are these, some of these stories that we oftentimes tell ourselves, we don’t even realize that it’s a story. We don’t even realize how big of an impact these stories can have on us. So for example, here’s a story that a lot of women tell themselves, I can never lose weight, or I’ll never be a woman that can lose weight. And maybe we have, you know, maybe we’ve tried to lose weight and we failed so many times that we just, we believe this story and we even have proof for the story. But what I want to say is when we tell ourselves things like I’ll never lose, lose this weight, or I will always be a woman that struggles with her weight, that is a powerful story. And if we believe it, if that’s a story that we believe, then it most certainly will have a significant impact on our ability to lose weight.

It will make it like as a long as we believe that story. If we believe that story, I can never lose weight or I will never be someone that can lose, right. That will become the reality. So what are some other ones? The like the stories that we sometimes tell ourselves that are like pretty negative, you can start to notice them by things that we say to ourselves that begin oftentimes with the words I will never, or I will always. So for example, I will never get out of debt or I will never have a fulfilling marriage, or my house is always a disaster. Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves have to do with possible dreams that we have for our future. But if they’re negative, they could be very powerful thoughts such as, you know, I would really love to write a book, but I know I’ll never be able to do that, or I’m not good enough at writing to ever actually write a book or I’m just too old to go back to college and get that degree in something that I’m really passionate about, or I’ll never get a promotion at work thoughts.

Like I’m a terrible runner. I can, I can never run. I’ll never do a marathon or a half marathon or a 5k because I’m just such a horrible runner. Things like that. Now I’m not saying that you have to be a runner or that you have to like love running. But I know people who, for years and years and years, they just believed that they could never run. Like, I’m just not a runner, but they like detail inside of themselves. They kind of wanted to try running, but they had just convinced themselves or that they had believed that they just couldn’t be good at it because one time they tried and, and you know, they ran a little bit and then they were just winded and they couldn’t handle it. So they just assumed like, oh, I’ll never be a runner. But I, I do have friends who believe that about themselves for years and years and years until one day they were like, maybe this doesn’t have to be my story.

What if I could be a runner? What if I could give that a shot? What if I could actually like it, maybe if I like pushed through and started running, and this is like, we hear this from people that are runners that are like, oh, I used to hate running. But then I actually started, you know, I started doing it. I started liking it. What are things in our life right now that we’ve told ourselves, oh, I just don’t like doing that, or I’ll never be this. I’ll never be good at this. And we’ve just told ourselves that story for so long, or maybe because we tried something one time and had a bad experience with it that we just believed that that is how our experience will always be. I bet every single one of us can think of a situation in our past where something didn’t go great the first time.

And then we gave it another shot, gave it another shot and eventually ended up loving it. But how many times do we never make it past that first time? Because we believe like something went wrong and we just believe this story that we’re not good at it, or that it’s not just, it’s just not something we’re into. So this is what I’m talking about about maybe just challenging ourselves a little bit to step out of our comfort zone, to maybe try something again, maybe give something another shot or to maybe question something about ourselves. Like maybe we could be good at something that right now we think that we’re terrible at. This is why I think is so important for us as women, as mothers, to be really aware of this for ourselves, because we need to help our children with their stories. I’ve shared this before with about, you know, my son, Joshua went math, the, on many, on a number of podcasts ago, but he’s someone that has struggled with math in his life.

And there was a story that he told himself, like he believed that because there was one period of time in his upper elementary school where he really struggled with math. It was possibly maybe that the teacher was teaching it in a way that he just didn’t understand, but he kind of fell behind. And I could tell that he was believing a story about himself, that he just wasn’t good at math, that he just couldn’t do it. And so we spent, I spent some time with him really in a way, kind of coaching him, helping him get out of this mindset, helping them to realize that he could do math, that he could learn it, that he could understand it. And then when he got into high school, he actually in his freshman year, in high school, he had a phenomenal math teacher and that math teacher changed everything for him.

All of a sudden, Joshua was like every single week coming home, getting A’s on his homework, getting A’s on his test. And I was like, what’s going on? And he’s like, I’m learning this. Like, it makes sense. I understand it. And I was like, yes, because you have a really great teacher and your teacher is helping you and understand this, that it’s not that you’re not bad at math. It’s just, you went through a phase where you struggled in it and you didn’t understand it, but now you do. And now he’s going into his junior year. He said two years of having excellent math teachers where he’s doing really great. He’s gotten A’s on math both years. And now he feels like, Hey, this isn’t like, I can do math. I’m good at math. He may not be in an AP math class. He’s not taking calculus at this point, but I actually believe that he could, and he’s going to continue in his math classes.

And he has like, that story has changed where him, he’s no longer someone that struggles in math. He knows he can do math. He knows he can figure it out. And he feels so much better about it. And so this is why we have to really like help our kids with their stories. Like what are their stories when they tell him? So I was like, oh, I’m, I’m terrible at this. Or I can’t do this. We want to help them. We want to catch that. Like with them before that becomes just a thought that they have over and over and over. And then they just believe that they just can’t that they can’t do something or they can, they just believe that they’re not good at something. And so for me, with my children and obviously all of our children, they’re going to have things that they’re good at and some things that they struggle with, but what I want to help my children understand is that I just don’t want them to just to fall into a story that they tell themselves that ends up holding them back down the road.

And so those are those things. But I think for us, as moms, as women, that we have to really work on our own stories and work on the, on the stories that we believe that hold us back. Because when, like with how we model this for our children is incredibly important. So how do we do this? This is kind of how I want to like wrap this podcast episode up. It’s actually a lot easier than we realize. First of all, we have to become aware of the stories of especially the negative stories that we tell ourselves. We have to be aware of them. Like I said, if we believed them for a long enough, they’ve kind of fallen into our subconsciousness and they’ll just kind of stay there. They’ll just kind of hover there in our background. And we just believe it. And we don’t even question it until maybe sometimes somebody like this podcast, I’m hoping that this podcast will maybe like really help bring a couple of things to the surface.

Just like my mom did for me that one day. And so, you know, we bring these to the surface. So really what it comes down to is looking at our life and saying, okay, what are some of the things that I want in my life? What are some of the things I want to do? What do I want to accomplish? How do I want to show up? And then we can ask our, you know, then we can start to kind of observe, okay. Because what’s going to happen is if there’s something that we want to do in our lives, the story will come up very quickly. If there’s a story that’s kind of holding us back. So let’s say you have a dream to do of doing something. And then your story might be like, oh yeah, yeah, no, you Larysa, you just can’t do that.

You’re too old. And then all of a sudden I can go, oh, is that a story I’m telling myself, have I believe maybe I’m too old to code to pursue that dream. Or maybe I’m too old to go back to college and get that education to pursue that goal or something like that. Or, gosh, you know, I really would love to learn how to, you know, maybe learn another language or learn how to play the guitar for me. Sometimes I will have this story of like, oh, Lorissa, you’re just too old. Here’s who old learned how to play the guitar. And then I can say, oh, wait a second. What if that’s just a story? What if it’s not? What if I’m like not too old? What if I could start learning how to play the guitar right now that I can ask myself, is this really like a story that is benefiting me?

Is this something that I want to believe or not? Is it something I really want to do? Maybe it is. Maybe it’s not, but I don’t want to not do something just because I believe a story that I’m too old or that I’m not capable of doing something. And so what we want to do is first pull the stories up to the surface and then we want to kind of observe them for a minute and go, oh gosh, I have I been telling myself that my whole life, or have I been telling myself that like the last 10 years, do I believe that I’m someone that can never lose weight because if I believe that story, then that’s not going to help me in my goals of wanting to lose weight for me, a story that I told myself for many years, especially since I started having children was a story that my life was crazy.

I was like, my life is crazy. Like I believed, I told myself that story over and over, oh my gosh, my life is crazy. Oh, my life is crazy. My house is crazy. We’re a circuit. This like, that was my story. And then all of a sudden I realized this story, is it serving me? Yes. We have a lot of kids. Yes. Our lives are busy and active and full. And our house is oftentimes very noisy and things break and things are hectic, all of those things, but that, but I started to realize like when I would tell myself throughout the day, the story, like 50 times a day throughout the day that my life was crazy. Well, I just felt like I was crazy and it didn’t help me. So I was like, I’m not going to believe this story. My like, I can actually, I can have seven kids.

I can be a working mom. I can be an an ambitious woman who pursues her dreams and my life doesn’t have to be crazy. I can actually, like, my life can be fulfilling. My life can be fun. My life can be an adventure. My life can be calm and peaceful, but it’s not going to be any of those things. As a long as I am believing that my life is just crazy. And so I don’t believe that my life is crazy anymore. It doesn’t help me. It doesn’t serve me. And it doesn’t help me accomplish the things that I want to accomplish. So this is it. These are the things like, what are the stories that we want to tell ourselves stories that I want to tell myself, go lay this Lorissa. Like, what are your biggest dreams and how, like, what do you need to tell yourself to get there?

So I need to tell myself things like, I know that I have these dreams and I don’t necessarily know how to accomplish them, but I know I can figure it out. I am a woman that can figure things out. That is the story I have been. That has been my story on repeat the last eight to 10 months since Sterling and I have started our coaching business because as an entrepreneur, everything we do requires figuring things out. So that’s my new story. In the past, like the past version of me, my past stories would have been like, oh, I can’t do that. That’s too hard. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to figure that out. But though that story, like those thoughts, those beliefs don’t serve me anymore. As a woman who has big dreams and big goals, like I want to be a woman who can say, okay, all right, I’m going to do a podcast, but I don’t know.

I don’t, I’ve never done a podcast before, so I don’t know how to figure this out, but I know I can, I’m gonna watch videos. I’m going to figure things out. Or I don’t know how to, you know, do a webinar. So I’m going to figure it out. I’m going to watch videos. I’m going to Google things. I’m going to talk to people. Who’ve done webinars and all of that kind of stuff. I’m trying to, I’m in the process right now of figuring out Facebook ads and learning how to do that and talking to people and trying to figure out all of those things that come with running a business and, and having a successful and vibrant coaching practice. It requires a mindset of like telling myself a story of, I want to be a successful business owner who helps literally thousands of Catholic moms.

And how do I show up? What is my story? My story is along with Sterling, like we’re going to figure this out and we’re going to show other women what’s possible. When you step into a story, that’s going to serve you and launch you closer to your goals and your dreams. And so this is what we need to do. We need to like start recognizing the stories that hold us back and moving and believing and start thinking very intentionally about the stories that are going to push us forward. The stories that are going to help us accomplish our dreams. The stories are going to help us feel good about ourselves, how, like the stories are gonna help us feel confident. Do you like, what are your dreams? Do you want to write a book? What if the story was like that you had was, I’m going to write a puck.

I have a story to tell. I have something on my heart that I want to share with the world. And I know that God has placed his dream on my heart to write a book. So I’m going to actually start writing one. And I like write so many words a day. I’m going to start moving into that. Instead of the story, like I know several women that want to write books, like that’s a dream of theirs is to write a book someday. And when I talk to them or when I coach a woman about like a dream like this, most of the women that I talked to say, well, I have this a dream about wanting to write a book, but gosh, like who wants to hear from me? Or there’s already other books on this topic. And those books are probably so much better.

Listen to that story. That is just a story. Sure. There’s probably other books on that topic or there’s other people who have written similar things, but no, one’s going to write that book the way you’re going to write that book. Nobody’s going to have their perspectives and the insights and the background that you can bring and the message that you can bring in your own unique way. But as long as you tell yourself the story, like who wants to hear like, like who wants to hear from me? Or what do I have to offer? What do I have to contribute? Or I’m sure if I wrote a bucket, wouldn’t be very good. That is just a story. That is just a thought. But if you think that over and over and over, you’re going to believe it. And then you’re never going to write a book because you’re never going to want to write a book that you think no, one’s going to want to read.

So let’s change that story. If you’re someone that wants to write a book, I want you to imagine like writing the most amazing book. I want you to imagine, like tell yourself the story. Like, I have a story within me that needs to be told, because what I have to share could change someone’s life. And like, what if it even changed one person’s life? Or what if it changed 10 people’s lives? Or what if it changed 10,000 people’s lives like that book and needs to be written? That’s the kind of story you want to tell yourself when you have a big dream. This is like the story, like, no, the, the Mayfair greatest, like the master’s program that we are building, I know that it’s going to change thousands of women’s lives. Like that is the story that I believe. And that’s the story that gets me up every morning, because I believe that God has placed that dream on our hearts.

And that is like the story that I want to bill like that that’s the story that I want to tell myself, because that’s the story that pushes me forward. That’s the story that serves me. That’s the story that helps me when I find myself in really challenging moments where I’m like, oh, I don’t know how to do this, but I do know that I want to figure it out because it’s worth figuring out because I know that if I can figure out this challenge where I can get past this, or I can learn this skill, it’s only going to help the women that God is calling me to serve. So my friends, this is the deal we have to call ourselves out. Sometimes this is what we do in life coaching really like with our clients. So often as a life coach, I get the opportunity to sit and listen to women, share their stories, to share their thoughts, what they believe about themselves.

And sometimes just as an objective listener, I have the ability to say, listen, do you hear what you’re saying? Do you, do you hear the, like, do you see those thoughts? Do you see the story that you’re telling yourself? And so often my clients will say, oh gosh, I didn’t even realize that saying that. I didn’t even realize that I believed that. But when you say it out loud to someone who is objectively listening, like we can say, you know what, like how much has this story held you back? Is this story serving you anymore? And if it’s not serving you, what is a new story that you want to create? What’s a new thought. What is the new belief about yourself about what’s possible?

What kind of dream do you want? So, so often we can get into ruts with our marriages and think to ourselves, I will never have a great marriage. I’ll never have a fulfilling marriage. I’ll never have a marriage with great intimacy or great passion. Thus, just a thought. That’s just a story. I want to offer this to you. Like what if you change that story? What if the story was, I could have an amazing marriage. I could have like a passionate, fulfilling, loving marriage, a thought like that may not just magically change everything instantly, but I promise you it’s a great place to start. Because as long as you believe that you’ll never have a fulfilling marriage, then that is what your reality is always going to be. When you start shifting it to like, what is the possibility of having a fulfilling and amazing marriage, then your brain starts shifting to that.

It’s a great place to start. And when you have that thought over and over and over again, it starts to move into a belief system. And when we start having a belief system, our brain just kind of goes into our subconsciousness, but it just stays at there. But now it’s a positive one. And our brain starts looking for proof for that. And it starts moving us in a place where we start building momentum towards having a better marriage. It’s really, really powerful. Same with parenting, same with all aspects of our life. For so long. I used to believe that I was someone that couldn’t have fun or didn’t know how to have fun anymore, but that’s a different, that’s a story that I’m trying to change. What if I am someone that can have fun? I don’t have to always be so serious and serious with my kids.

I can actually be a fun mom. I can be a fun wife, but as long as I believe in a story or believing this thought about myself, like, oh, I’m just not fun anymore. Or I’m just kind of a, you know, grumpy, realistic mom that just, you know, cleans the house and does laundry. That’s the story I’m going to believe. So this is what I want to offer to us. We can and should work and be aware of the stories we tell ourselves, we should call ourselves out. Sometimes we should stop and say, wait a second. That story that I’ve been carrying around in my backpack for years, isn’t actually helping me in any way, be the woman that I want to be. So maybe it’s time to like, delete that story, get rid of that story and create a new one. My sisters in Christ, what are your dreams?

You want to write a book? You can write a book. You’re not too old. There’s not other people that like your story needs to be told. Do you want to go back to college? You can go back to college. You can go about to college at 40, at 60, at 80 years old, there are people who have gone back to college. Do you want to run a triathlon? You’re not too old. You’re not too out of shape. You want to do that. You can do that. You can start by running a block today. And then tomorrow run like two blocks. And you just start working on that. You want to be someone that likes to have fun. Again. You want to bring fun into your life. You can do that. Start writing that story. What does that story look like? What does the bad mom look like?

Who likes to have fun with her kids? Seriously? If you’re like, I don’t know. I don’t know what she looks like. I don’t know what that looks like. Well, go look it up. Go watch some YouTube videos I’ve been doing that I’ve been like looking at families that like to have fun in there. I’m like, oh, that’s a really cool idea. I’ve been Googling like how to have Gaga, how to create a Gaga ball pit. Because my kids like to play Gaga ball. And I don’t even know what that is. But now I have this story in my head. Like I’m going to be a mom that creates a, makes a Gaga ball pit in our backyard so that we can, as a family, play that together, or maybe it’s cornhole, or maybe it’s just plain checkers in the evening. Like, what are some games we can do?

This is what I want all of us to start thinking about. How can we change some of these beliefs? How can we do it starts with our thoughts and then our actions follow. We have our thoughts, those thoughts generate emotions, and then our actions follow. And then we start moving towards the results that we really want to get in our lives. It always starts with the thoughts. And so this, my sisters in Christ, this is what I have for you today. Hope it challenged you a little bit. And I hope that you will take a little bit of time to do some inventory on the stories that you’re telling yourself. So they serve you. If they do keep, keep them going. If not made his time to write a few news stories for your life. Now, as I wrap this up, I do want to say this.

We are almost to 40 episodes of our podcast, and it’s super exciting. And we are loving putting this content out there. But I have to say this. If our podcast episodes, if they are meaningful to you, helpful to you in any way, please go and leave a review. We just, those reviews really help us in so many ways. So please, if you wouldn’t mind taking a moment to do that, if you haven’t already, that would be such a gift to Sterling. And I, and then also, if a podcast really resonates with you, I would just like to ask you to think about sharing it with someone there may be other Catholic moms in your life that you know of a sister, a friend, coworkers, people that might benefit from hearing this podcast is so the only way we can really share this podcast is by word of mouth. Like we need help with that and getting this out. So if you have been blessed in any way by this podcast, we would just like to ask you to just pass on that blessing and share it with others who may also benefit from hearing it. And with that, I hope you have an absolutely incredible week. I hope you have some fun creating some new stories in your life. And I just want to remind you that you mama are made for greatness. I will see you again soon. God bless. We are praying for you.

About Sterling

I’m on a mission to help moms quiet the chaos of everyday life and life with more peace. I homeschool six kids and run a business. I know how to have peace in the storm of busy life.

My hope is that this podcast will lead you to the Holy Spirit so you can discern God’s will for your life.



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