Okay. The way that you talk to yourself in your mind is garbage. It is ridiculous. It is embarrassing. If you heard your kid talking to themselves the way that you talk to you, you’d be like, whoa. It would be a problem. You would sit them down and you would be like, listen, you may not talk about yourself like that. You may not talk to yourself like that.

If you heard your kid talking to a different person, the way that you talk to yourself, it would be a red flag situation. Okay. And how do I know? Because you’re a human and you just grew up in modern day, probably America, but maybe somewhere else.

And we have been taught, especially as women, to just like, not like ourselves, to be down on ourselves and then throw in that you’re the oldest child or the middle child, or the youngest child, or the lost child in a large family. Like there’s all these kind of jackets that we wear that contribute to the particular flavor of not niceness that we talk to ourselves.

Okay. Now the first thing I wanna say is this isn’t your fault. I do not want you spending a ton of time beating yourself up and feeling bad about the decades that you have been so mean to yourself. It’s not your fault, okay? It’s just programming.

If we were to go back and watch the movie of your life and see the way that people talk to you, your parents, your teachers, television. Lyrics in radio, songs, magazines, right? Like if we were to catalog all that stuff, the messages that you received were really messed up, probably.

Okay? And then you are just perpetuating them because it’s what you were taught. And you may be today years old learning, huh? I am perpetuating that and none of those things are true, and I can stop saying them. No one can stop you from speaking to yourself kindly in your mind. And in fact, you must. You must. Okay.

So the other thing I want you to know is that biologically your brain’s main charter is to keep you alive. Okay? It’s like a computer and it’s like mission number one, keep you alive. So right now, quite successfully with the garbage way that you’ve been speaking to yourself, your brain has completed its mission of keeping you alive. It’s like, hey, if she really doesn’t like herself and she takes less risk, she stays alive, and that’s what we want.

Okay. It totally works. It totally works on a biological level, and that’s why you’re doing it, right? So your brain is reinforced by giving you tough love and getting you to not take risks and not go into uncomfortable situations and to keep you safe. Whatever it perceives as keeping you safe, okay? And then you’re still alive. So it’s like we. I win. I’m the winner. She is still alive.

Okay. Also not your fault, right? It’s not your fault that you have biological programming that for like 10,000 years, the brain was so hyperfocused on keeping you alive because there were so many external threats in our environment, and it’s been such a tiny, tiny, tiny sliver of time that we’re not dying because of plague and starvation and tribal wars.

Like just like a boop. Compared to the history of time. So the brain is just like catching up still on the fact that we have grocery stores, right? And because it hasn’t caught up to the fact that we have air conditioning and grocery stores and you’re probably not gonna be killed, you know, from a warring tribe on Wednesday.

It has turned all the rest of the things in your life into like really big threats and then it’s like screaming at you. With military tough love to try to keep you safe, but it’s just misfiring all over the place. It’s misfiring on what the threats are and it’s misfiring on what you need to hear in order to have a healthy life. And that’s because it doesn’t care if you have a healthy life, right? It doesn’t care.

If you have friendships or love. It doesn’t care about your soul. All it cares about your computer brain is to keep you alive and it’s done that, and you can do that by being really mean to yourself.

And that’s where I wanna like grab your little face. And say, I love you so much, and the Lord loves you so much, and he does not want you spending 20 more years being mean to yourself in your mind. You’re gonna live, Lord willing, the next 20 years anyway. Right? We’re gonna live anyway.

And you could either hear it with like, most of you probably don’t know what Metallica sounds like, but like, just imagine like really sharp Metallica, grunge, rock screechy music. And I’m like, Hey, you’re gonna live the rest of your life, but I’m, you just have to hear Metallica in the background the whole time.

Okay. maybe another example would be like 50, 10 year olds learning how to play orchestra instruments. And I’m just recording that. And then that’s the soundtrack of your life. You’re gonna live the next 20 years anyway, but that’s the soundtrack and it’s screechy and terrible. Okay. That was a good analogy.

Or you can be a loving personal assistant. You can be the best athletic coach. You could be the most gentle spiritual guide. Like a spiritual director, you could have a voice like Mary and that’s your soundtrack and we’re gonna live anyway.

But in your mind is this beautiful chorus, like the Benedictine nuns singing beautiful hymns. They have a bunch of CDs on Spotify. I will link one of them below. Okay. I’m gonna forget that. Let me just make a note. Be predicting nuns. So good. We love those CDs. Okay. Beautiful music like that. While you’re living your life, it’s up to you. You get to choose. No one controls the thoughts in your brains.

Now, I did mention spiritual attacks in the beginning. I do believe for sure in demons and spiritual attacks, and I do think that they can like whisper things. Right. But we are the ones who then like take those thoughts, those lies, we plant them in the garden of our minds and then we water them.

I’m a bad mom. I’m screwing up the kids. God doesn’t really love me. God isn’t good. Or he wouldn’t let this be happening to me, right? Like they might whisper it, but you are the one who waters it. And so that’s what I wanna help you see is that you have control over what you think in your mind. You may not have control over the first thought.

Okay, but you, once you catch it, once you start watching your thoughts more and you are the watcher of your thoughts, okay, then you can go, oh, that’s not true brain. That’s silly. There’s no tigers here. We’re not gonna die. I love you. We’re gonna be totally fine. We’re gonna have a great day.

One thought that I really love is I have a luxurious amount of time. I don’t tell myself that I don’t have enough time. I don’t like that thought. It makes me feel like tight. I’ll probably do a video on time at some point. I haven’t yet, but it’s coming.

But I just tell myself I have a luxurious amount of time and then I, it feels like I do. It’s the most amazing thing, and I have a very full life, you guys. It is packed. Okay? But I just don’t tell myself that I have to feel rushed or stressed. I just talk to myself so gently while I do it. So I’m just, I wanna sell you on this idea, okay? That you get to choose the soundtrack of your life.

You’re gonna live it regardless the days you’re gonna tick by. And you can either be nice to yourself or you can be mean to yourself and beat yourself up and have that military like, who do you think you are? Get it together. Why aren’t you just working harder? Like, can’t you just, and I don’t even care why.

Okay? I could probably roll around in your childhood and figure it out pretty quickly. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you as an adult, go, I don’t wanna live like that anymore. And then it will take some work. Because your brain is practiced, right? The neural pathways in your brain are practiced going down. The self-deprecating don’t like my self track, okay?

So you will have to get your brain to do something else. And it’s like, but we always wanna tell ourselves how tired and old we look when we look in the mirror and you’re like, oh, we’re not doing that anymore.

Now we’re gonna look at ourselves and go, oh, you’re so beautiful. And I love the color of your eyes. Okay, I’m gonna do a video on loving the way that you look in the mirror. It’s a totally different thing, but. You gotta have that conversation too.

But that’s just one of the thoughts that’s part of this overall soundtrack, and I want you to know that you can significantly improve the experience of your own life if nothing changes. We have the same house, the same husband, the same kids, the same bank account number, okay? All that is the same.

But the way that you talk to yourself about it is so much more gentle and lovely and encouraging, and then your experience of those things. Is better. Okay. If that sounds amazing to you, I want you to come check out my six week challenge for moms, okay? Mary’s heart, Martha’s order. We’re teaching you to be a little bit more Mary and then clean up some of the Martha stuff, okay? ’cause we want both. Moms want both, okay?

But I’m gonna teach you this, which is basically a whole bunch of different things to think so that the soundtrack of your life is better. And when you do this, you’re gonna feel, I’m not lying. You’re gonna feel like you get two hours of your day back. ’cause right now you’re kind of wasting two hours a day being stressed and not liking yourself, and that leaks out so much of your energy and so you’re more tired than you need to be. Okay?

But it’s because you’re like being so mean to yourself and carrying around the weight of things that you shouldn’t be carrying around. Okay? I have lots of videos of that. And instead, I just want you to like believe that God loves you, that he’s made you for a purpose. That he doesn’t give you desires that you’re not going to fulfill, which is such an amazing thing, and that he doesn’t want you speaking to yourself the way that you are.

And when we begin to speed to ourselves in a kind and loving and encouraging way, our life starts to get so much better. And it takes me six weeks. I’ve done this for many years and we like really distilled it down to the necessary things, and you can learn them over six weeks and it’s gonna totally change your life.

Just go read the reviews. I’ve done it. Thousands of women totally change their life. Okay? Check out catholicmomcalm.com and go sign up for our six week Mary’s Heart Martha’s Order Challenge. If you want more interior peace and you wanna change the soundtrack, that’s in your mind.

Alright? Please pray for me. I’m praying for you. Have a blessed day.