And my daughter really likes to go to the internet and find beautiful complex cake recipes like a black forest cake, which involves, you know, making cherry filling and then making the cake and then doing frosting. But then it also had like a white chocolate frosting and kind of like a turtle pattern on the top. And it was beautiful. 

But I showed her, I said, look, this is beautiful. And it is a very complicated thing. It will take you two days to do it. There were many, many steps that had to be done in order to make this beautiful, unique cake. And I said, or you can just make a chocolate cake, a really simple chocolate cake. 

And I said, you’re gonna get 90%. Of the joy and happiness out of this chocolate cake with a simple chocolate frosting versus the amount of time and dishes. I was telling her, this is gonna involve so many more dishes that you’re gonna have to clean. And I was looking at her schedule over the few days and I said, you know, where are you gonna do all of this work? 

And in the end, she landed on the chocolate, chocolate cake. It was very simple, it was beautiful, it was homemade, and she took it to work. And of course it was a huge hit. This simple chocolate cake because it was made with love for this. It’s an older gentleman, kind of like a grandpa who works at her work. She works at a teriyaki chicken place.

And it’s this real kind of family feel to it. And she wanted to just think this guy who’s really encouraging and nice to all the kids who work there. So it was very sweet. But I told her, I said, you’re gonna get most of the goodwill from doing this and the happiness of people on your team and for this man out of the simple cake, and you’re gonna make your life so much easier by choosing simplicity. 

And it was such a great metaphor for so many other things that we do in our lives. Where we want to make people feel special. We want our children to have opportunities. We want our homes to feel warm and lovely, and there is a simple way to do that.

And then a very complex way to do that. And once we’ve committed to the complex way, then when we’re in the middle of it and we’re feeling stressed out, we tend to have thoughts like, I don’t have enough time and my life is crazy and things are wrong.

And it’s not necessarily that the one thing that you chose. It’s the thing that’s sinking your life. But when we consistently choose the complex thing over the simple thing that could deliver the majority of the all, we’ll just say goodwill or happiness that we want, then our lives are chaotic and we don’t have enough time then to sit and listen to the Lord.

And that’s a problem my friends. It is a problem if you are so busy that you do not have quiet time to sit with the Lord, and it is just not true that you can’t make that happen. It’s just not. I have six kids. Who are mostly home all the time. A husband who’s home all the time, a business, a dog, 30 chickens, a bunny, and seven rats. There’s a lot going on in my life.

And I teach at the homeschooling co-op one day a week for six hours and a different day of the week. I volunteer and teach religious education at my parish and all of that together takes about two and a half hours driving there, teaching and driving back.

My life could be very busy and loud, but I consistently choose simplicity over complexity. Even in small things like wrapping presents, I do not do a lot of ribbons and bows and gift tags and like things to embellish the presence. That is a fine thing to do. But if doing it adds a layer of complexity to your life, that then stresses you out, don’t do it.

I was coaching a mom recently who was laid off with a whole bunch of people at her job, so she’s working a temporary job and trying to get a business off the ground and the temporary job. I think it’s until April. 

So she basically has, you know, four or five months of this temporary job, and she’s building her business on the side so that the business can then replace the job when that temporary job is done.

And she was telling me about all these things in her life that she was trying to accomplish, and I said, listen, for five months we’re not doing any of that. I mean, if that were me and I were really trying to save my family financially, and I needed to be the one to do it. For argument’s sake, let’s just say that she needs to be the one to do it.

And by the way, the first thing I said was, please go talk to the Lord and make sure he’s asking you to do this. But I would have very simple dinners. I mean, I’m talking K City and hotdogs and cut apples, maybe even paper plates if my life was stressful enough. And I would find really high quality activities to do with the kids once or twice a week.

And the rest of the time, I would not be spending a lot of time with them. And I would huddle them together and I’d be like, listen, ducklings, mommy’s gotta do this crazy, incredible thing for five months and it’s gonna be really hard and it’s gonna be a big sacrifice and we’re gonna make this sacrifice together.

Because the idea was then if she can do this and get the business off the ground, then she could be home a ton more doing her bookkeeping business from home, which I think is a great work from home job for moms.

And so for a short period of time, we’re gonna choose simplicity everywhere. My clean clothes are living in a laundry basket. I am going to decide what my minimum cleaning requirements are. I am probably not doing a ton of kid activities except maybe the very crucial ones. I don’t know the ages of her kids, so I don’t know. I don’t know what else was going on on that front.

But for me, you know, I would look at all the activities that they’re doing and I would say, you know, why are we doing this? What are we hoping to teach them or accomplish? What feelings do I want them to have? What feelings do I wanna have? 

A lot of the time we sign up our kids for activities, so they’re doing something so we can think something about ourselves. I’m a good mom, I am giving them opportunities. I’m educating them. I’m exposing them to things that are good and challenge them, but those are all about us. 

And you could think that without doing any of the activities, you could choose to find other ways to give you the feeling that you want.  And collectively, we have all just been tricked into doing not only lots of things, but doing those things in a complex way. 

Maybe some of you are, you know. Doing a ton of Christmas decorations and feeling a lot of pressure around that. Maybe some of you are doing the Elf on the shelf or that other Catholic company came up with Mary on the mantle. But it’s the same thing. It’s like we’re moving something every night and having to be thoughtful about it. We don’t need to be doing that.

And I would let my kids be disappointed. If I had done that for the last three years, I would sit them down and go, I love you so much, and we’re not doing that this year. They may even cry, and I would say, I totally understand that you’re disappointed. I’m a little disappointed too, but we’re just not doing that this year.We’re gonna choose to have a simple December so that we can spend time together and think about the Lord. 

Isn’t that what we want them to know anyway? I don’t want them to be adults who feel pressured to do all the things, all the things for their own kids. It’s such a great lesson. Choose simplicity, and I probably say this every six episodes in some form on this podcast, but you need to hear it all the time. Take out a piece of paper, write down all of your commitments, and ask yourself, do I need to be doing this at all or can I do this in a more simple way? 

One of the things that’s new this year by daughters 14. She’s in this homeschooling co-op. She has a job. Where was the third thing? a youth group at church. And all three of those groups in the same three day period popped up and went, should we do Secret Santa with these kids? 

And now I’m like, oh, I should have, I wish I would’ve known this was coming. I would’ve bought five of the same thing on Black Friday sale. Like I would’ve find a nice, sweet spot. Like this is a great mug. This is a great candle. This is a great. Card games, something.

I would about five of the exact same thing and then just had those in my closet so that every time this popped up and she went, oh, we’re going to do gift exchange, I’d be like, great, here’s this thing that I got and it’s a good deal and we’re gonna give everyone the same thing. ’cause each of those groups don’t interact with each other. 

But that’s an incredible way to choose simplicity. Instead of me having to go to the store or even go to Amazon and have thoughtfulness around like, okay, for this one group of people, what should we get? And then you can also just choose not to participate in some things. 

For all of those, it was, you know, they had a limit for how much money to spend, and I thought, okay, well I’m willing to do that. In the future, if my teenagers are doing this and all six of them want to do it three times, well, we’re gonna have some talk about like money and how we’re choosing to spend our money. Is it my money? Is it their money? Do we wanna say no? 

I can see in the future that we may be thinking about that more. This feels like the first year that this has happened. Previous years my younger girls have done. We all make something like they usually needle felt a little ornament or something and give it to their friends, and that has been fine.

So where can you choose simplicity? This year for Thanksgiving, we made Turkey, green beans, gravy, and one kind of potatoes, and then a pumpkin pie. It was the most simple Thanksgiving we had ever had, and it was the least stressful. 

Well, one year we went to somebody else’s house, which was the only year in my married life that we haven’t hosted Thanksgiving, and I was like, this is amazing. We only had to make one thing and bring it, but this was the least stressful we hosted and made Thanksgiving dinner because we just didn’t do all the things. All the things. 

And we knew that the family coming over would be fine with that. But I really had to sit with myself and just go, Hey, it’s okay that we’re not making sweet potatoes and white mashed potatoes. It’s okay. And it made our lives much simpler. And then we were calmer, and then we connected more.

And sometimes I do choose to do something a little more complex, a little more sparkly or fanciful. I’m not saying that we should never choose that, but make sure that it’s something you intrinsically love and that the bang for your buck there is worth it both time and money. 

With the example of my daughter and the cake, I knew that the extra time that she was gonna put into this other cake was not gonna pay off much more than the simple cake, and yet it would make her life way better to do the simple cake, and then sometimes that’s just not true.

Sometimes we wanna spend more time and do something that takes a lot more time or costs a little bit more money and the payoff is there and it’s worth it. So I guess I’m just gonna keep telling you, why are you doing all the things that you’re doing? What can you say no to? What can you simplify? 

Because those are two different things. There’s cut out the things we can cut out, but then of the things left, how can we. Simplify it. I don’t know. I guess I’ve never been really stressed out about wrapping presents. But for our kids, what we do is Costco has a double-sided wrapping paper.

So we can get three rolls of wrapping paper that give us six patterns, and each kid is assigned a pattern and we wrap all of their presents in that pattern. And that’s pretty simple. And I’m just telling you right now, you do not need to participate in everything. You can say no to a cookie exchange. You can not go to that office party. You can leave early. 

That’s one thing that I often do. I say, oh, I’m so happy. I would love to come. Just so you know. No matter how late the event goes, I’m gonna be leaving at eight, and I like to front load it because I want them to know it’s not personal. It’s not like I went to their party and I didn’t have a good time, and then I’m leaving at eight. I’m like, I just leave at eight. I want to go home.

We have got to choose the simple version of more things. It is such a trick of consumerism. That has tricked us into thinking we have to do all the things. All the things. I also, if I was tight on money, particularly, I would call each of the people that normally I exchange gifts with the adults, and I would say, would you like our gift to each other this year to be no gift?

Because think about some of your friends that you love so much with your whole heart. You’re both giving each other $12 candles or whatever, and neither of you need that and you wanna show that you love each other. What if you called them and said, you know what, I just like things are tight and I love you so much. And what if this year we just didn’t exchange gifts? 

I think a lot of women would say, thank you so much. That’s amazing. And they would love to not have to procure and wrap and think about another gift. And this isn’t true for everybody, but I’m talking to the mom that’s fritzed out and stressed, and I feel like we’re blowing it at home by being upset for the performance of how we live outside of the home. 

And I’m telling you right now, that’s not okay. It is not an okay trade off. Now, does that mean that we can’t ever be a little tired or a little grumpy or a little annoyed at home? No bless my 8-year-old. I gave him a pair of gloves and he has already lost one of them, and I am annoyed by that. I don’t think anything escapes, you know, that experience. 

But in general, I want to be a calm and peaceful mom, and I notice that I lack peace when I start playing the game of the world when I start participating more in the circus. And I could just feel it. I’m getting caught up in the circus and then I have to catch myself and go, don’t be part of the circus. Bring it back. Say no. Choose the simple thing.

And most of us are starving for human interaction too. So the other thing you could do with your friend is just say, you know what? The week between Christmas and New Year’s, let’s go get a cup of coffee. Most people are really busy up until Christmas, but then they’re actually pretty free the week between Christmas and New Year’s.

So you can just say, let’s not exchange gifts, but like the Tuesday after Christmas, let’s go get coffee, and that could be really lovely. Choose simplicity where you can, it is worth fighting for. It is not too late. Choose simplicity. And one of the ways that we are choosing simplicity more as a company, a lot of ways. And I’ll tell you more about that as announcements already.

But we really simplified our planner. I was trying to do a ton of things with the planner. We used to call it the year of comp planner, but now we’re gonna call it the Mary’s Heart Martha’s Order Planner, so that it kind of follows up to the Mary’s Heart Martha’s Order Challenge. 

And as I was praying about the planner, I thought, what is the point of this planner? You know, we’re not a planner company. I’m not trying to be, I don’t know what the name of the planner companies are, but that’s not what our business is about. And I thought, I wanna create a planner that helps women pray for 10 minutes a day and plan for 10 minutes a day.

And that’s what it is built around. We actually dropped. A lot of the goal setting things at the beginning we had a lot of pages around goal setting and breaking down the goals and all of that, and I just thought, you know what? You don’t need that. I know your brain thinks that you need it, but you don’t.

We did keep the, wouldn’t it be cool list? I think it’s really great to dream and just to fill up a piece of paper about wouldn’t it be cool if we did all of these things in 2026? And that’s enough for your brain to be thinking about it in the background. Especially if you look at it, you know, once a week or even once a month.

But this planner is about praying for 10 minutes a day, planning for 10 minutes a day, and doing those two things in the planner. And then in the back we put our healing wounds, worksheets, so that when your drama comes up, you can just flip to the back and invite the Lord into whatever that is, and clean it up and heal those wounds. And that’s really pretty simple. 

And I wanted it to be simple, and the cover is really simple and beautiful, and I think that planners should be simple because we want our lives to be simple. So if you want, I’ll put the link in the show notes about our planner. They’re shipping now. We’re pretty sure you’ll have ’em before Christmas if you order them before the 15th. 

Normally, for sure. But you know how sometimes the closer we get to Christmas, whatever time the printers tell you, or not the printers, but the shippers tell you isn’t exactly the time. So for sure if you ordered it by the 10th, you would get it by Christmas if you’re giving it to yourself under the tree or someone else. But you surely have it before January 1st. 

I like to have a planner. That week between Christmas and New Year’s to just be dreaming and thinking and putting in the dates ahead of time of the things that I like. I like doing that. Some of you like to do it the first week of January as you’re still rocking that 12 days of Christmas. And then you wanna think about the new year as we get a little bit closer to Epiphany. 

So if you go to the show notes. There will be a link for you to buy the Mary’s Heart Martha’s Order Planner. It’s beautiful. It’s a quarterly planner, so technically you would need four for the whole year and I love you with my whole heart, but probably you will only use it half of the day, so you probably only need two. 

I just know that that’s true even for me. Even for me, I don’t always use it every single day. I do pray every day and journal to the Lord every day, but a lot of times I do that in my remarkable. I don’t necessarily use the planner every day. 

If you know that you’re planner everyday people, then you would want four, although you can order it anytime. It’s dateless and you can order it anytime and start at any time. And I think most of you’ll end up using two for the year. 

But it really helps you get clear on what’s working in your life and what needs to be tweaked. And I think that we need to spend more time instead of just putting out fires all the time, if we can sit with the Lord for a little bit. And let ’em hold our hearts.

We are really good problem solvers and most of the time the problem solving that we need to do is to choose simplicity over complexity. Choose a simple Mary in life instead of being part of the circus. And we do live here, so we do have to play part of the game. Okay. We’re not nuns cloistered in the mountains, so we do have to play part of the game of life.

We do have to participate a little bit in the circus, but just notice when it’s getting too loud and too crazy, just like a circus. And you’re spinning around too much and there’s too many flashing lights and noises, and we’ve gotta simplify again and go back into the cave, right, and choose more of a Marian life.

All right, my friends. I love you. I’m praying for you. Thank you so much for listening and have a blessed day.