Receive the Good and the Hard

Welcome to the Catholic mom com podcast, where you can come to find peace in this wild and beautiful journey of motherhood. And that is exactly what I want to talk. About today, which is the weld part of motherhood and the beautiful part of motherhood.  So I had a really profound moment the other day.  It was a Saturday morning.  And we didn’t have anything on the calendar, which is pretty unusual for us. 

We usually have something going on.  And we had nothing for the whole morning. And everyone slept in to about seven 15. That’s what sleeping in at our house is these days, you know, Are my youngest is five. The five, six and seven year old boys share a room. And their clock turns yellow.  At seven 15. And the girls stayed sleeping for a little bit longer. The, my girls are nine and 11 and then my 13 year old is having a semester in another city right now. 

So she wasn’t here.  So we slowly get up. I make some coffee. My husband makes pancakes. And I was sitting on the couch. Drinking my coffee.  And just watching the kids eat pancakes and it just hit me that it was such a pleasant morning.  The kids were laughing. My husband was in a good mood. I was enjoying my coffee slowly.  And it felt restful.  And I just thought this never happens. Like this never happens. 

If you have a bunch of little kids, you know, that normally you’re waking up very early and then they’re already kind of whining or they’re running around and things get knocked over. And then when it’s breakfast time, it’s hard to get their attention. It’s hard to get five small humans to sit at a table.  And to have a drink without knocking it over. To make decisions. 

We let them choose what kind of syrup they want on their pancakes. And sometimes that is just a maddening experience. Letting them choose anything right. And just getting in the making large amounts of food and in getting in front of people that a reasonable amount of time.  Well, they’re talking at you the whole time, by the way. Right. And then them eating it without falling out of their chair, which happens a surprising amount. Knocking over their water or making a mess or, um, another crazy thing is they just, they, my husband will serve everybody first and then he’ll get his breakfast and he will sit down. 

And as soon as he sits down, someone will say, can I have more pancakes?  And both of us are just so cringed. We’re just like, oh my gosh, children. I love ya. But I just sat down. Right. It’s so hard.  These are all totally normal kid things, by the way, but in this special Saturday, in the morning, none of that.  None of that happened. Everyone came upstairs quietly. 

Nobody ran around.  I don’t know what they did before breakfast, maybe sat on the couch with me. I don’t remember. Cause it, it was in this moment when I was watching all of them eat pancakes. That I just had this profound, like, wow.  This is a perfect Saturday morning.  And.  As I was looking at them, I realized that when we have the idea of having a family.  

That’s kind of what we think about, we think about Saturday mornings with pancakes around the table, kind of laughing.  Like.  Ah, oh, Charles, that’s so hilarious. And the kids are laughing and we’re having this wonderful, like war moment.  And it occurred to me that it took me 14 years.  To have that.  14 years of not that.  To have this really lovely. Uh, calm Saturday morning. Where we were, what I would, I would say is what you imagine a good, happy family. Together at the table, enjoying each other. Right. 

Not just tolerating breakfast, not just trying to get through it, not trying to rush through it, to get to another thing.  And it was just the most beautiful thing. And I love that.  GK Chesterton quote that says the most extraordinary thing in the world is an ordinary man and his family. Something about just an ordinary family. 

And that’s what it felt like. It felt like this just extraordinary moment of how beautiful the family unit is.  And.  That doesn’t mean that it’s not beautiful when there are little kids in tantrums or teenager, SAS, or whatever it is, the tapping that didn’t. You know, it didn’t happen in this really perfect, lovely Saturday morning. And that’s the other half of this podcast, but.  I just received that moment. I just, I didn’t miss it. You know, I was just there and I really soaked it up.  And I really thanked God for it. And I said, thank you. Thank you for this family that I didn’t ask for. Right. I mean, I never thought that I would have kids.  And I certainly didn’t think I’d have six kids.  And I certainly didn’t think that I would  live in a rural area in Northern Idaho. 

You know, I’d always kind of lived. In the suburbs outside of a big city where I was, you know, 30 minutes from getting to a city.  And it was just such a beautiful.  Beautiful thing. And I want to share that also to those of you that are in the middle of your, it may not be 14 years, but however long it takes for you to have a perfect Saturday morning.  Um, that it’s real.  

And that it’s coming. And I feel like I’ve gotten on this train where like now the train is going to go so fast.  And then they’re all just going to be gone.  I can feel it. I can feel that. Like these are the years where.  I really want to soak up and enjoy. These kids and our family life. Before they all fly off and do other things.  

So I just want to remind you.  That there are these. Moments, these beautiful pockets, the special gifts that God gives us. And it may not be a whole Saturday morning. It may just be, you know, two kids playing together well on the living room floor and you happen to notice it. I just want you to pause for a second, soak it up.  Receive it, that that word is.  I’m so into that word this year.  This idea that we can receive each moment. Like Mary would have, and she just received everything so fully.  And I imagine her like with a laundry basket on her hip. Just receiving sweet moments.  Of her family life. And we can do that.  We don’t need to rush. We don’t need to move on. We can just pause for a moment and just take it in.  

Oh, this is such a beautiful moment. And then there are the hard moments.  Right. I’m not gonna call them bad moments, but they are hard. And we have plenty of those. Um, I forgot which day of holotype was just so hard. Like it was raining and it was dark and my husband was gone. So maybe I took the kids somewhere by myself.  It was definitely, it was all souls day. Uh, because after going to mass, which they were like, we have to go to extra mass. And nobody else goes to extra mass, which was kind of true in this instance. Like we drove out to this. Um, really beautiful. Kind of conservative rural church that does a lovely all, all souls day mass. 

And, um, and we were the only ones, none of their friends were there.  And I did feel a little bit bad about that, but, uh,  It was a beautiful mass. I really enjoyed it. And on the way home, I said, oh, you know, let’s go visit a cemetery. And my.  Six-year-old. Burst into tears. And it’s just like scream, crying in my van because he doesn’t want to go to the cemetery and he wasn’t scared. 

He just didn’t want to do another thing. He wanted to go home. And I said, Blazey, we’re just, it’s not going to be that long. Like we’re just going to go through and pray for the people there. And he’s lost his ever bloom in mind. Over it.  And there was just a lot of whining and a lot of I’m hungry and a lot of not understanding the, the specialness of, of hallow tide and.  I totally get that. 

That doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother me. That kids don’t yet understand just the beauty and the depth. To liturgical living in our Catholic faith, but.  It was just one of those really hard days was long had driving. There was a lot of whining. Um,  And then it was raining. Why is parenting so much harder when it rains? It’s just it’s, it’s just like, like, I, I usually wear ballet flats. Pretty much, always. And, um, and we just have a couple places in our property that are.  Kind of dipped down and in my ballet flats, the water gets in my shoes, which is totally my fault. 

I’m a full grown adult.  And I know that when it rains, I should probably put on waterproof boots and I have waterproof boots, but I don’t want to put on waterproof roots. I want to put on my belly flats and that’s what I want to wear. And then water gets in my shoes. So sometimes it is my own self that creates hardness.  On the rainy days, but it does feel like rainy days are just hard. Whiny days are hard. Um,  And then just, you know, answering lots of questions, whether that’s from your kids or in your professional life or whatever it is that you do, right. 

When we have to answer. Uh,  37 questions that we have to think about.  It’s a hard day.  And.  I think.  Being saints as we, as we’re always working toward that.  The trick to it. He  is receiving those moments in the same way.  

That I received my special Saturday morning.  Like listening to the kids, cry in the car. And thinking.  This is good.  This is my family life. This is what God made me for.  And when, I mean, good. I don’t mean like, yay. I’m having so much fun. I mean that God is here.  This is what he’s asking of me right now.  It is good because it comes from him.  

And I’m certainly not there. I certainly don’t receive all of those moments with the same kind of on trust.  And gratitude.  To the Lord, but I know it’s possible.  I know it’s possible. And actually I was, I was pretty calm on the all souls day because it was just special to me. I really like it. And when I have a really high conviction about something, the kids. Don’t rattle me as much. I’ll just say, yep. This is what we’re doing. I’ve chosen. We’re going and I’m, and it’s special to me. And here’s what we’re doing.  

But I don’t always stay calm. Sometimes I feel very annoyed or very frustrated or very discouraged or very stuck.  And I want to receive more moments. With grace and gratitude. And just seeing that it’s all special. Sounds special. 

One of the things I want to do.  I’ll probably talk about this next week. But one of the things I want to do is I want to do a series of Instagram coasts, where I ask women to give advice to women who are a decade younger than them. I’m about to turn 40.  My birthday is on November 21st. I’m going to turn 40. 

And so I thought, oh, wouldn’t it be cool. If all the women who follow me or are on my email list or in our programs. Who are 50 or older? Give me advice like that would just be so special. I would love it. And then I thought, well, we’re going to do it. We might as well then have the 40 year olds give advice to 30 year olds. 

And the 30 year olds give advice to the 20 year old and maybe. I don’t know how many we have, but maybe the 60 year olds giving advice to the 50 year olds.  

Because we just do know so much. We do have so much more wisdom. One more 10 years older. And I just, I feel like what’s happening to me right now is part of the wisdom. That I’m going to have in my forties, that I would then.  Tell someone in their thirties, like, it’s not that it’s.  

It’s not that it’s fun. It’s really not. It really is hard.  But I think it’s interesting how we can look back at the hard things in our life and feel fondly about them.  Um, or wistfully, remember them.  You know, think about your life. What were some things that you’ve been through that were really difficult, but that you kind of were like, oh, but I’m glad I did that. I took a, a three-week bike trip. Where I got on a bike.  With camping gear. And we biked all day and then camped all night and then woke up and biked all day and camped all night. 

And we did that for three solid weeks and we started in, um, Vancouver, Washington, and we went over several mountains.  And made it all the way down to Florence, Oregon, which is kind of a beach town and the backup.  And it was such a. A difficult experience, but I.  I’m so glad that I did it. It stretched me in so many ways and it made me feel so strong after I did that. 

I just thought, well, I can do really hard things. If I can do that, I could do really hard things.  I also, um, I CrossFit for a year.  

After I was after my first baby, it was my first baby. And then I had had two miscarriages.  And I worried that maybe my weight was one of the reasons and I was like, I want to get in shape.  And I CrossFit for a year and I got in really good shape. It was, it was really incredible.  And I’m really proud of myself for doing that. 

And it was so hard and I never wanted to go.  Cause I went to the five 30 class, so I just never wanted to do it. And I really don’t like lifting weights.  We’re like doing workout things with other people. So it was really outside my comfort zone, but it was so hard and it, but I was so proud of myself for doing it. 

And like, I look back on it now, fondly. Even though it was pretty terrible while I was doing it. And I just think so much of, of parenting is going to be like that.  Where.  No, one’s taking it away from us. That it is that difficult. I was, um,  We serve coffee and donuts at our church once a month. And I was getting it ready.  And this two-year-old, his dad had brought the two year old in to where we serve the coffee and donuts and she was just Kareem crying.  

I think, um,  I don’t know if they were weaning her or something. Like it was clear that there, you know,  She, they were teaching her something. And, um, the dad was so calm with her and I was just like, oh man. Two year olds and they just lose their minds over things. And he was so calm with her and it was so sweet. And I know it must’ve been really hard for him.  But.  

That’s what, that’s the gig? That’s what it is.  And I’m just so proud of us.  I want you to have a moment to just be proud.  

All the tantrums that you’ve, you’ve been through and all of the meals that you’ve fed them and the diapers and the waking up in the middle of the night and just all of it. Uh, the big kid stuff too. I just don’t have as much experience there. Yeah. I just want you to be proud of yourself.  And let us work on receiving.  The good moments looking for those more.  And receiving the hard ones too. And just saying, this is part of it.  

And I will.  Look fondly on the fact that I did it. I will remember this wistfully. I will not forget that it was hard. But I will be glad that I did it. I just wanted to share. That with all of you today.  Um, there were some hiccups with my advent book, but it is done and submitted to Amazon. So. I don’t think it will be ready by the time this podcast comes out on Wednesday, November 13th. But I do feel like it’ll be on Amazon by Friday. So there’s just sometimes Amazon approves things very quickly. 

And sometimes it takes a few days. So certainly by Friday, I think. Um, my Amazon book will be out. I wrote an advent devotional using quotes from the imitation of Christ. It’s amazing.  And then I recorded each day in an audio form. And if you buy the book on Amazon or the Kindle version, Then there’s a link to the audio book, which has just included. 

I’m just including that I’m not selling it on audible. So if you buy either the physical copy or the Kindle copy, then you’ll go to a website. And find a link to the book.  The audio version of the book, which will, which is a private podcast. So you can listen to it through iTunes or Spotify, which is so amazing and so easy and lovely.  And I wanted you to be able to experience that. 

So it’s, it’s just a really, uh, I mean, all I can say is just a really holy spirit inspired advent devotional. And it’s very real. And it’s going to meet you where you’re at.  And talk about, you know, how do we choose Christ when things are hard?  

How do we choose him?  And, and I, you know, I really like.  Focusing on how do we, how do we live through the holiday season?  When we’re struggling.  And I think at the time where people all think that we should all be happy, but a lot of us aren’t. Which doesn’t mean we’re in the depths of despair, but it just means like, Hey, I’m going through some rough things. And that’s weird when there’s Christmas music around.  And then we’re supposed to grow closer to Christ. I just think it’s confusing sometimes. So I wanted to.  To write a book. And to give you beautiful audio meditations, the audio meditations, um,  

Have lovely music behind them. So I hope that they’re very soothing and I pray in every single one of them. So they all start with a prayer. And then a commentary. And then, you know, space to reflect.  I’m a God wants to tell you. So.  I didn’t grab that on Amazon. Probably on Friday, you can, you could look ahead of time and it might be there already, but, um, it will be there by Friday and it’s called light in the darkness. And it’s an advent devotional. I made it for 28 days, which is the longest amount of days. Advent can be. So you can use it every year.  If you want. And.  

I don’t know. Well, like always I made it for me. I made it for me cause I wanted something like that. And.  I hope that. you enjoy it. All right. My friends, I am praying for you. Please pray for me. Thank you so much for listening And. have a blessed day.