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School is wrapping up and we often have lots of thoughts about ourselves. We feel stress and guilt and it can leave negative impressions with whatever what we’ve chosen to educate our kids. Let’s break it down!
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Hello, everyone. You are more than halfway through May, you’re doing it. Just every time I see Bob’s they just look kind of haunted and I don’t even have to ask, I’m just like, I know you’re doing all the things, all the things, you’re making it just like keep going. It’s a marathon but you’re doing it. Today, I want to talk about schooling and you may be like, I don’t want to talk about schooling right now. But here’s the thing, Schooling is on everyone’s mind in the month of May because it’s whatever form of schooling you’re doing, you’re kind of wrapping it up and your brain is having an emotional experience right now and then trying to decide what you’re going to do in the fall. Also, so many moms right now are just being absolutely plagued with guilt. With feeling like I’m not doing a good job, I totally blew it, and I hear this a ton in may for the homeschool moms, because they get to me and they’re like, oh my gosh, we just didn’t do all the things that I thought we were going to do.
But I also know that at the end of the year for schooling moms, like we’re so over school. We put the girls in that hybrid classical school for two years, when I was on those bed rest pregnancies. And I just remember at the end of school being like, I don’t care about anything. I was like, I don’t care about your homework, I don’t care about this stupid party, like, I just did not care about any of those things. I definitely did not say that to my sweet, lovely children. But in my mind, I was just so over it. And I think that makes us feel guilty, right? Nobody likes phoning something and nobody likes not showing up well, but it is so overwhelming at the end of the year that we do, we just, we’re just trying to cope and get through. And so we end up, I think, often showing up, not in a way that we’re proud of and then it makes us feel bad.
And then the association with school feels bad to your brain; that’s how brains work, right. It’s just like, ugh, when I see the school building, I feel kind of yucky and my body because I’ve made that association many times. And I think that happens the most at the end of the year. I forgot my things at home. I need you to bring it, just all that stuff. So, the other thing that’s going through our mind as we’re all like watching the world collapse is, you know, we’re looking at these kids and we’re like, what even should we be teaching them? What is their future going to be like, maybe we’re even worried about the kids individually, like, that kid just can’t make any friends and this kid is barely reading and that kid. I don’t think math is ever going to make sense to that kid, right. We see these holes and again, your brain is designed to look for danger. So of course it’s looking for holes. And there always will be holes, right. No human is going to be proficient at all of the skills, so 100% of your kids are going to be bad at things.
The personality types we have are so different. We’re not supposed to even enjoy the same things. And so as a mom, you’re looking at these kids and having to decide is this a matter of skill building, discipline training. Like me as a parent, teaching them something? Or is this not really necessary for this kiddo? my oldest daughter right now, all the kids are playing soccer, but my oldest really came in. She really came in at 12, having never played. And I told her before we even started. I said listen, you might hate it. You’re pretty far behind. I said, if you, you know, get in there and you don’t like it, I would let you quit. And I made it very clear. I said like, normally I won’t let you do that but it’s pretty difficult coming in that far behind. I’m trying to skill-up and catch up. And so if she played for a little bit and then just said, you know what, it’s not my favorite. I don’t want to do it. I would have let her not do it. And then she also, this particular kid, I don’t think she has the well something inclination personality type for team sports. I could see her doing archery or track and so if she came and said, hey, I don’t want to do this anymore. I wouldn’t make it mean she’s not good at doing hard things. She’s not going to be physically fit. She doesn’t know how to get along with people. Like my brain understands why. You know, late stage soccer may not be for her. But you may be thinking, Sterling soccer is completely optional. We don’t need to know how to play soccer to be adults. That’s true, but so is almost everything you’re worried about in school. Sure right now, whatever subject you are worried about with your kid in school. I want you to just stretch your brain and go, is that really necessary? Is that necessary for being a successful adult? They need to know how to do some things, but they don’t need to know how to do everything. We do not know what world we are preparing them for. I think? We all need to double down on teaching them their faith, because we don’t know what we’re preparing them for. I just want to make sure all the kids know how to talk to Jesus? How do you hear Jesus? Where do you find him? When you’re having a bad day, how is Jesus the answer?
When your life feels wonky, which sacraments do you lean on? Like, I don’t know what we’re preparing these kids for, but I don’t think anybody thinks it’s great. I don’t think anybody is looking at the country and the world and being like, I think 10 years from now, it’s going to be great. And I don’t sit around thinking about it and being scared. I just, I asked myself like, have I prepared them in their faith, because that’s going to be the net that catches them no matter what else is going on. The other thing that’s really important to me is that my kids know that they can count on me. Like, hey, I love you. I will never stop loving you. And anytime you need something, I will be there for you, if I can. I don’t even go to all the soccer games though so I want to make it clear that it’s like for the real stuff. Like if you’re having a hard time I will help you. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard Leah Darrow talk about her dad. When she was in New York and she was doing modeling and then, you know, wasn’t great. And she decided I’m packing and I’m not doing this anymore. He dropped everything and drove to New York to pick her up. I’m talking about that. I want my kids to know I’m that kind of parent, like when something is difficult or bad or scary, I will come pick you up.
And I just think that that’s so much more important than the score they got on their math quiz, you guys. And I’m not saying that we chuck the whole school thing out the window, just bring your stress levels down about it. I talk a lot about this in the membership. I don’t know if I’ve talked about it as much here, but the feeling of guilt Is appropriate when you have sinned. You should feel guilty when you have sin. But moms are plagued with guilt all the time, rarely having tied it to a sin. So right now, let’s say you’re one of the homeschooling moms and you’re just feeling all this guilt about not getting as much done as you wanted to, as you thought you were going to. Where is the sinfulness in that? And maybe it is sinful. Let’s say you did, it’s hard for me to make a case for that, but let’s say that Saint Michael, the Archangel came down and said, Sterling, then the way that you neglected their education this year really was sinful. Okay. Let’s say he came down and he told me, and I was like, oh wow. I didn’t realize it was that bad.
What do we do when we’ve sinned? We just asked for forgiveness. We say, I am so sorry, Lord. I am sorry that I did not do what you wanted me to do. Please forgive me. We washed that clean and we moved on. We should not be plagued with guilt. It should come up. We should either go, oh, I didn’t sin so this is a thought error or I did, and I need forgiveness and then I need to move on. You being plagued with guilt is one of the things that’s making you show up not as the mom that you want to be and so whatever you’re going through right now, just checking on the guilt stress thing, checking on guilt, and just be like, hey did I do something wrong? Did I do something sinful? Do I need to ask for forgiveness? Then check in on your stress levels. I want you to just go, is this a big deal? It might be a problem, but is it a Boulder or is it a pebble? Okay kid leaves his major project at home. And it’s the end of the year so we know this. It’s important, it’s a big presentation because that’s a problem. But in the scheme of your life, is it a big problem? Probably not. I want you to just take a deep breath. First of all, I would process the feeling of annoyance.
I just be like, ah, Sally, why do you leave your things at home? I’ll process the feeling of annoyance. I would just allow myself to feel annoyed for a minute and then I’d be like, all right now we just have some choices, are we taking it to her? Probably, yes. And then I’m looking at the rest of my kids and the rest of my day, what can I move around to do that? And I’m just getting it done. I am not letting my body be filled with adrenaline and cortisol and feeling like this is a high stress situation. She can feel high stress and I can be like, yeah, of course she’s at school feeling stress, but I don’t have to take that on. My job is to show up and be calm for her, right. And to show her like, yeah, these things happen. And we just stay calm. We trust the Lord. And we get it done. And so if you are feeling waves and waves of guilt and stress I just promise you those are optional. Those feelings are optional. I felt those things momentarily and then I processed them. First I figure out if there is anything true there, because sometimes it’s just flat out, not true. Sometimes we’re stressed about something that isn’t true. A lot of you are stressed out about an imaginary future that you have made up about your kids and it is not true.
I don’t even want to know what my parents or what the teachers thought I was going to do with my life in school. And I’m very glad that probably whatever they think is not what happened. Oh man, I perhaps unsurprisingly talked all the time in school, talked and talked and talked and talked and always forgot my work. That was always the feedback I got, which is like, you could be so great. What a horrible thing to tell a child for 10 years, you could be so great. Which means you’re not. We see that you have the parts. Why can’t you just get it together? Oh, But you guys yourselves are thinking that about these kids, not necessarily that, but you’re thinking something and I just want you to know, you don’t know. You don’t know what these kids are going to be. Tell them how great they are. Tell them how funny they are. Tell them how much joy they have. Tell them how fierce they are. If you list the top 10 difficult problems that kids have. I would find a matching set of strengths that are in that type of kid. Let us speak that over them.
Because those kids forget their homework, they’re super creative, right. Those kids that are strong-willed. They’re going to be leaders. Those people pleasers, let other kids walk all over them. They have kind and gentle hearts. And it doesn’t mean we excuse bad behavior. Our job is to teach them about virtue and to help them grow in virtue but let us tell them who they are. Let us see those good things, those beautiful things, that’s our job as moms. And let us teach them how to pray. Let that be the biggest tool that you give them. And one of the biggest gifts that you can give your kids, is that you can model for them not being stressed and filled with guilt. You are showing them how to be a mom right now. And I want you to narrate more of what you’re experiencing for them. Like when you look frustrated, don’t be afraid to say, oh, I’m really frustrated right now, my brain is having a lot of thoughts and I have to calm that down because those thoughts aren’t true. Let me just take a couple deep breaths.
Let me just bring in the Lord to this moment. Like narrate what you’re doing so they see because that’s what you want them to do in their adulthood. Put your hand over your heart and say, oh, oh, man I’m just, I’m feeling a lot of guilt right now, let me just check in, let me check in. Did I commit any sin? Do we need to bring something to the Lord? Whereas my brain is just trying to get me to feel bad about something. I don’t need to feel bad about it. Wouldn’t that be incredible if we taught all our kids. The difference between when we should and shouldn’t feel guilty. So a lot of you are running the school Olympics right now and so is your kid, and it’s a great time to talk to them about stress. About showing up in virtue, but not letting it create a ton of pressure. Like, yes, we want to do our best and we want to show up, but we don’t want crippling anxiety and stress about it. That’s not what God’s asking us to do. That’s not holy. Like when you read Therese talk about her little way and always like offering these little sacrifices. Her tone in her writing never sounds like, and then I just really had to get to the kitchen to help them with the pots and pans. And I really had to help that sister clean the floors. And I really had like, it doesn’t, she doesn’t sound anxious about it.
And you can tell she has these moments of things that are uncomfortable feelings and then she just processes them out. Like, the nun who made the clicking noise. Right. I don’t know. I think she was in adoration and there was this non-income making clicking noise, which would drive me so crazy and it drove her crazy. And, but then she tells the story and then she says, she just decided to find it endearing and to be okay with it. That’s what Sainthood looks like. We just close the loop on things. And so I want you to do that and while you’re doing it, explain it to your kids so they learn how to do it. And there are, I think there are some kinds of stressors that are good. I talk about that to my girls who are having a piano recital, they’ve never done that before. That Sunday and they’re freaking out about it and, you know, I’m just chuckling, like it’s in some church auditorium or whatever, like, it’s not a big deal. But I’m just coaching them through it.
Like, yeah there’s a certain amount of excitement that we have. Kind of fun, I’m excited to do this energy and of course there’s a little bit of fear in there. But I’m trying to get them to future project like this. It is just a low stakes situation. It’s going to feel intense, nobody gets up and plays a musical instrument in front of other people, and doesn’t feel warm in their cheeks and their heart racing. That’s normal, but thinking that if I don’t do a good job, I’m going to die. It was just kind of what our brain tricks us into doing or like, everyone’s going to laugh at me and I’ve walked them through that. I’m like, what do you think happens when a child who’s playing the piano totally messes up and has to start over. I said, do you think the people in the audience laugh at them? Like, no, they really don’t. Maybe one person’s brother in the back and you can’t even hear that person when you’re up there. I said most of the people are beaming you love. They’re like, so happy to see a child sit at the piano. They’re so proud of them for doing this. I’m proud of the kids who are not my kids. I’m like, look at her, she’s doing such a good job. So I’m explaining that to my kids. So when it comes to presentations or big projects, like there’s some amount of stress that’s appropriate for the kids, but help them get healthy language to it.
Like, yep we want the kind of stress that makes us focused, but not the kind that makes us feel like whatever the result is could be catastrophic that’s what we want to avoid. Okay, I talked about a lot of things, but I’ve just been doing a lot of coaching for a lot of moms. And I just know that you don’t need to feel as guilty or as stressed as you do. So I am opening up a few spots for one-on-one coaching for the summer. I haven’t done that in a long time. But I have a pretty open summer, so I thought, you know what, I’m going to do some one-on-one coaching. I just have a few spots. So, if you’re interested in working with me, one-on-one over the summer. I want you to go to catholicmomcalm.com/contact. And just putting your name and email address and put, I’m interested in one-on-one coaching. And I will send you an email. I wrote up an email that said, here’s what it is. Here are the details. Here’s what it looks like. And I’ll just send that to you. So you’ll have all the information and I just know that there’s a couple people who are struggling with some things or have some big goals and want some help and that’s what coaching is for. Coaching is really great for having someone to just clean out your brain.
And then you leave feeling like, wow I know exactly what I need to do and feeling hope for you can actually do it. So if you’re interested in that, go to catholicmom.com/contact. Send us a message and I will send you an email and then next week, I will tell you about our summer program in the Catholic Mom Calm community. I’m very excited about it. It’s going to be very fun. And I would love to spend the summer with all of you. So thank you so much for listening. You’re going to make it. I’m praying for you. Please pray for me. and have a blessed day.
![Anxiety never comes from the Lord. So the second I feel that tightness show up in my chest, I already know something true about myself. I am thinking about my life in a way that God does not want me to think about it. Period. Because if I were thinking about it the way He wants me to, I would be at peace. This episode is one question I want you to start asking faster than you are asking it right now. Not "Lord, take this away," but "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" About this toddler. About my husband. About my body. About this house. I asked Him something this morning and He said, "You already know. You just doubt what I have already told you." Ooh, burn, Lord. We talk about why we are not reaching for Him sooner (we do not actually believe we could be at peace all the time), the grace you have to ask for before He hands it to you, what Fulton Sheen was doing in basically every talk he ever gave, and why Daniel in the lions' den and Mary at the foot of the cross were both at peace. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: The micro moment prayer: the second you notice tightness, throw your hands up and say "Lord, I invite you into this. Come be with me right now." Why anxiety is information and not a verdict. It tells you your thinking is off, not that your life is off The real reason we do not run to Him faster: we have never met a person who is at peace all the time, so we quietly decided it is not available to us Eight out of ten minutes. You will lose it. The win is how fast you come back Feeling powerless is the worst feeling there is, and being able to stay calm in any situation is one of the most powerful You are not done when you hear the sentence. Your job is to practice it, or your brain will spiral right back in two hours The gifts of the Holy Spirit were designed to be asked for. Wisdom, counsel, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, fear of the Lord. Ask Being at peace does not mean being peaceful. It means receiving. It means "this is okay right now and I can handle it" The surprise pregnancy test, the teenager going through it, the adult child who left the Church. You can be at peace today, in that EPISODE TIMELINE: (estimated at 5-minute marks, no timestamps in the transcript, confirm against audio) [00:00] – Hope when you feel anxious, trapped, stuck or frozen, and inviting the Lord into the micro moment [05:00] – "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" Why anxiety never comes from Him, and what Mary has to do with our unbelief [10:00] – Eight out of ten minutes, and why staying calm is the most powerful you will ever feel [15:00] – Cheeky Jesus, the sentences He actually gives me, and writing them down so I can practice them [20:00] – My real morning (I do not pray first thing), redirecting my brain, and asking for grace and the gifts of the Holy Spirit [25:00] – Fulton Sheen, the beatification, and why all his talks end the same way. At peace is not peaceful. Daniel, Mary, Joseph and the donkey [30:00] – Who I belong to, true freedom, and an invitation to the Catholic Mom Reset LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Join the Catholic Mom Reset: www.catholicmomcalm.com/reset Fulton Sheen beatification, plus the conference with Arthur Brooks the day before (Sterling will have a table, come say hi): www.fultonsheenconference.com/ CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm](https://catholicmomcalm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/CMC_Podcast_Ep_271_13-300x300.png)
![I am team planning. I am team house systems. We teach it in the membership and it is the very first thing we tackle in the Catholic Mom Reset, because looking at your next 90 days and making a plan is genuinely a gift to your future self. But if you took all of it away tomorrow, dropped me in a different house in a different town with no idea what the next 90 days held, I would be okay. I could walk around and have peace. That is the part I want for you. A lot of women tell me they are type A planners. There is a healthy version of that. There is also a version that gets built in a childhood full of chaos you could not control, or in a home where performing well was how you got love and attention. Both of those grow up into a woman who plans beautifully, and one of them is holding on with an iron grip. This episode is how to tell which one you are running on, the five minute healing work that sets the grip down, and the sentence I said to a mom on a coaching call that changed her whole face. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why the plan is not what makes you feel calm (you make a plan, then you think "I have a plan," and the thought is what creates safety in your body) The two childhoods that produce a hyper-planner: chaos you had no control over, and love you had to earn by performing The difference between planning that feels light and playful and planning you believe you cannot survive without Abraham walking up the mountain and the Israelites who never got the itinerary, and what peace looked like for both Tolerating uncertainty is a capacity you can grow, the same way a kid grows from 37 seconds to a minute and a half underwater The five minute memory work I use, sitting in the theater with the Lord while He tells you the truth about what really happened What I told the mom who was afraid that moving every two years would rob her kids of roots and stability EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Why I wanted to do this episode, and why I am solidly team planning and team systems [05:00] – All brains hate uncertainty, the AI conversation nobody can predict, and the skill we can actually grow [10:00] – Your body feels your thinking, not your plan. The Israelites, and Abraham on the mountain [15:00] – The car breaks down. The husband's job might move you. How to answer your own brain [20:00] – Chaos versus performance, the grounded healthy version of you, and asking the Lord what we are doing today [25:00] – Bob Schuchts, inner child work, and revisiting a memory with Jesus in five minutes [30:00] – "You are their mom. You bring roots and stability everywhere you go." Protocols, and week one of the Reset LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Catholic Mom Reset (starts Sunday, September 6th, first live call Thursday, September 10th) Bob Schuchts books Brya Hannan book on inner child healing (do one chapter a month, it is deep work) Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts and Jake Khym Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm](https://catholicmomcalm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/CMC_Podcast_Ep_271_12-300x300.png)
!["People love change. They just hate transition." I heard Matthew Kelly teach that years ago and I think about it every single August. Because right now I'm getting a hundred emails from the school, two of my boys walked out today in socks with giant holes in the heels, and there's a lunchbox in this house that will not zip. If your body is fritzing out over start dates and supply lists and shoe sizes, nothing has gone wrong. You're not in the change yet. You're in the transition, and I want to give you the exact words to say to your own brain while you're standing in the middle of it. Plus a summer update: our little red golden retriever, the sickness that took my husband down, walking in 87 degrees on purpose, 200 Fulton Sheen rosaries, and the press-on nails I just ordered off an internet ad. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why change and transition are two different things, and why the yucky feeling belongs to the transition and not to your decision What to tell your brain when it starts second-guessing (the feeling is bad, so the choice must be wrong) and why that's backwards Who you are in a transition is not who you're going to be, whether that's back-to-school or pregnancy or a move you didn't choose The two weeks plus two weeks rhythm I use: get ready, live it, evaluate at the end of the day, tweak, then settle into the change Giving equal air time, because your brain will spend all day on what could go wrong and about nine seconds on what you're excited about The folder-and-calendar hack that keeps the school email avalanche from hanging over you every hour of the day Looking for what was good in a hard season, even when the good thing is just the timing of it EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Mid-August, the nesting itch, and going from wild open summer to ordered fall [05:00] – Annie Avonlea, a sickness that hit everyone one at a time, and what was actually good about it [10:00] – Walking in the heat on purpose, France prep, and giving equal air time to the excitement [15:00] – Making Fulton Sheen rosaries, why moms need work that gets finished, and yes, the press-on nails [20:00] – "People love change. They just hate transition." The emails, the socks, the lunchbox that won't zip [25:00] – Talking to your brain in the transition, and the four weeks it actually takes to settle [30:00] – The email folder hack, and having peace today in the middle of all of it LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Join the Catholic Mom Reset: www.catholicmomcalm.com/reset Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com Fulton Sheen beatification conference: https://fultonsheenconference.com/ CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm](https://catholicmomcalm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/CMC_Podcast_Ep_271_11-1-300x300.png)