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Do you wake up with a sense of dread like you just don’t want to do today? I know why and I know what you can do about it!
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Today, we’re going to be talking about waking up with the feeling of dread. I’ve done some coaching on this recently, and I can tell that moms are really nervous to tell me. That they wake up in the morning and they just feel dread and they don’t want to live through the day, which is not the same thing as wanting to die. It’s just like that feeling of just like, oh, I don’t want to do it again. Right? And I totally used to feel like this. Before I had all of these coaching tools, I would wake up and just think I don’t want to do the little kid circus today. And again, it didn’t mean that you were depressed. It didn’t mean that you wanted to end your life or run away from your family. You just wake up with these fleeting thoughts of just like, oh, mom, life is hard
But it comes crushing in first thing in the morning. So I’m wanting to talk to you about one that I think that’s more normal than we think especially before we have coaching tools and we don’t have a lot of hope that our life is going to get better. And then I’m going to give you some tips and ideas for how to improve your life so that you’re not waking up and starting out the day already, not wanting to live through the day. So one. I just want to normalize that we live in a really, really crazy world where just the amount of screens and inputs that are being put into our eyeballs is so crazy that we’re just all a little baddie. Okay. We’re just all a little batty because that just happened so quickly. Right?
If you just think about how recent it was that we had the iPhone and then social media, and then like faster video based social media. Like it just keeps getting more and more intense and invasive. And so just as humans, we’re just not sure what to do with that yet. And then I mentioned this before, but we have all of these kids and we’re expected to do all of these things. With very little support. Right. It’s like we took all the support away, but then we were like, and you should do piano lessons and soccer, and they should really learn Latin and you better make the food from scratch. And you better monitor everything that they’re reading and watching. I look it’s just so much and even the store’s kind of perpetuate this with, they’re like, please get ready for Christmas in October. And let’s celebrate every kind of holiday that we could ever think of and let’s buy things. And then the Catholic version of that is, and on top of that, you better be making cupcakes and having, you know, craft projects for all the liturgical seasons and all of the feast days.
And of course, no one person is saying that. I’m not like throwing all the liturgical, living like designers under the bus, but them adding their voice into the mix, especially now that there’s a ton of them it just bombards us with this idea that we need to be doing things all the time. So of course, you’re waking up. Like, I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want to live with as much noise. I don’t want to live with this much decision fatigue. Mama the amount of decisions that you have to make is just crazy pants. Crazy, just think about all the decisions you’ve had to make in the last two days, so many, so many decisions. And then I’ve kind of been joking recently with my clients that my ten-year-old like, I’ll just be in the six kids circus of it all and like making dinner and thinking about my business and all of it and then my ten-year-old will no joke straight face come up to me in the middle and be like, Hey, can we get a horse? As you’re just like what? No, we can’t get a horse. I can’t even think about that right now like that’s crazy. And so, without these tools without managing your brain, your brain is just going to fritz out. Okay. And so just please step, step one is just loving yourself and being like, of course you’re feeling that way. Of course, it’s not hard. Of course, you feel strange and weird and you don’t know what to do, and you’re not happy, but you’re kind of happy.
Because as soon as we add on top of all of the things that we’re dealing with, that something’s wrong with you and you’re just not doing it right like everyone else has figured it out, but you’re a garbage human and you haven’t figured it out. It just makes it so much worse. Okay. So the first thing is learn to pay attention to your thinking. This entire podcast is dedicated to that. The entire Catholic Mom Daily podcast is dedicated to that. My life got radically better when I learned to pay attention to my thinking like just even first, just to pause and notice. When you wake up and you have the thought I don’t want to do today.
You will start to see it like a thought bubble above your head. Like, oh, there’s a thought there it’s going through my head. That’s an interesting thought brain is that the best thing we can think? First thing in the morning, I don’t want to do today? Whew. It feels kind of heavy today, brain. Like notice all ready just one thin layer of detachment from the thought already makes it feel better. Where you’re already, not every thought that you have. Right. You are not your thought to where the watcher of your thoughts. And you can be comforting and you can be playful, you could be curious.
But step one is just noticing the thoughts.
Step two is learning that you can think different things on purpose.
Okay, so you can wake up and think, oh, I don’t want to do today. And then you can think, you know, what? There are some good things about today. I’m going to look for the good things today.
I’m going to challenge myself to find one thing that I’m looking forward to today.
And we can have that kind of playful energy, a grateful energy. There is always something that you can look forward to through the day. You may have a very big day I’m not going to lie. Like if you have six kids in eight years, it is an intense day every day. Every day, my husband and I, we just will like hold each other’s hands and be like, we’re doing it, it’s a lot. And that’s our way of saying, like, this is crazy. Right. It’s not that he’s not doing a well or I’m not doing it well, it is so intense. The boys right now are four, five, and six. And the four year old is going through a no phase. Like, Hey, can you put your shoes on? No. I don’t want to. This is my sweet little angel baby boy and I’m like, oh, okay. The second one, is, he was in a screaming face that’s not now, praise God, but now he’s kind of in this like whiny phase and he stomps his foot and he goes, why?
Which is not my favorite. I don’t love that. But that is what’s happening right now. I feel like it’s a little bit better than the high pitch screaming though. And then, the six-year-old just goes in and out of being like really fantastic and fun. I really enjoy six. And then like the other day, he snuck out of the house and snuck into my car and got gum. And so he’s also just like seeing what he’s capable of and pushing the boundaries. And it’s always kind of catches me off guard right now. Cause he’s, he’ll be so sweet and smiley as all these freckles. And then I’m like, I heard my car though, I was like, what’s happening? I’m like, oh, okay I’m gonna have to go talk to you about that. Those are just the boys. And then the girls just chatty chat, chat, chat all the time. So much talking so many art supplies. And so, as I explained this, I want you to hear in my voice, or as I described these kids that like, those are all normal things. But when they are all happening at the same time, it’s a pretty intense day.
And so the way that I think about my day and each of these moments radically changes my experience of it. I’ve had some really difficult days, but I just take a deep breath. And I just think things on purpose. I calm myself down. I’m like my own biggest cheerleader.
And I drop resistance because resistance is just such a energy zapper. Like as soon as you’re like this shouldn’t be happening, this is so hard. I thought it would be better by now. Like right now, just think about something in your life that you don’t think should be happening. You will feel like this tension in your body and it takes energy to feel that.
So as quickly as I can recognize resistance, I try to melt it away. I try to drop it away and just be like, oh, this is happening right now.
That’s fine, what are we going to do about it? What do I want to think about it? What do I want to feel?
So there’s noticing your thinking and then thinking thoughts on purpose.
And the other thing that I think is really helpful is telling yourself the truth. And so like if you had talked to me three years ago, I would have said they cry all day long. Oh, my goodness they cry all day long and I would think it all the time oh, they cry all day.
And then really when I looked at it, it would be like seven times a day for a couple minutes. But doesn’t that sound totally different? Like if you met a friend and you were like, my kids cry all day long, and I just can’t handle it and it’s so hard.
Versus, two of my kids, the youngest two on average cry, seven times a day for a couple minutes, each time. Like already the stakes of that feels so much lower. And I don’t know about you, but for me, I’m like, oh, I mean, I don’t like that, but I can handle it.
And so look for the ways that you’re not telling yourself the truth about your life, because we have these stories, like it’s so hard. I’m so tired. They cry all the time. I’m such a hot mess. I’m always behind.
We have these big stories and they sound terrible. But a lot of times when I’m coaching, a mom was like, I’m so behind. I’m like, okay, what are you behind on? And she’ll be like, I need to fold the laundry and make a dentist appointment. I’m like, okay, can you do that? She’d be like, yes.
Right. Like, it’s usually very, a very short list actually, or I’m very practical things that she could do, but this thought that’s chasing I’m so behind I’m so behind.
It’s just really, really painful. And it zaps your energy. I mean, I’m telling you guys the craziest thing about this is that changing your thinking will give you more energy. I just cannot imagine.
How I would have handled this version of my life before these tools, because I didn’t have hardly any energy. You know, three, four years ago. And now I just do like four times as much stuff.
I think I mentioned that we signed the girls up for piano and everybody five of the six kids up for soccer. And it’s hunting season. And I’m launching a product on the business side. Like I’ve got a lot going on. And I’m tired at the end of the day, but I’m doing it. I’m handling it.
And the way that I handle it is by watching my thoughts, dropping resistance, telling myself the truth.
And then really like the last step is just make a plan once you’re calm, once you calm down and you tell yourself the truth, the plan actually is usually pretty obvious. You know, it’s funny because coaching is never about telling someone what to do. I just get them to be calm and then I say, what do you think we should do? And they always have the answer. You guys always have the answer. And they leave just feeling so much relief and so much better I can yeah I can do that, that is pretty simple.
And that’s what the Catholic Mom Calm method is about. Right. Calming down analyzing the situation. Listening to God and making a plan.
I’m just saying it in a different way today, but those are still just the same steps.
And so this week I want you to pay attention to, what do you think about when you first wake up.
Be playful your brain about it, especially if it’s negative, be like really brain at 6:15, and we already throwing a fit? Are we pouting already? merely nothing’s happened we’re still in bed.
And then I really want you to pay attention to the stories that you’re telling yourself about your life and ask yourself, is that true? Are your kids crying all the time? Is your house a mess? What does that even mean?
One of my stories, is my marriage is so painful. I don’t really just trying to change that story like, oh, we have a couple challenges.
Because when I tell that story feels heavy and big and true.
But it’s not true, it’s not painful all the time, we’ve lots of moments, warmth, and joy, and connection.
You might be doing the same thing with your job, so terrible, I hate it, you know, brains are very, they just exaggerate everything.
But when we calm down and we tell ourselves the truth and then make a plan, life just gets so much better. I promise, and we’re heading into the holidays y’all so we need a little bit more energy. A little bit more life is better and I can handle this. And if you want help come join the Catholic Mom Calm community. I will coach you.
I mean when I coach women, it’s like five to 10 minutes and you will walk away like, wow, that totally turned my day around and made me feel so much better about my life. I know exactly what I need to do now.
And that’s why I think coaching is better than planners, and self help books, because it gets to you to figure out how to solve your own problems will build your confidence. If I solved your problem all the time, it wouldn’t build your confidence.
But the way that I coach you’ll see, oh, I had the answer.
And so you’re learning two things. You’re learning the tools. And you’re learning to trust yourself that you have the answer. And of course, I would say it that the holy spirit lives inside of you and that’s why you have the answer, but God always has the answer. And then we’re more quiet enough. You know, we can hear the holy spirit who lives inside of us. That’s what makes it Catholic coaching? alright you guys I love you. I’m praying for you. It’s a banana’s world and we’re doing it and I’m proud of you and you’re a good mom. And your house is just fine. Thank you so much for listening and have a blessed day.
All right, my friend, thank you so much for tuning in to the Catholic Mom Com podcast. I’m on a mission to help Catholic moms have more peace. So if this episode inspired you in any way, I would be so grateful if you would share it with a friend. Just hit that share button and send it to someone who could use some encouragement.
And if you want to dive deeper into these tools, come join us in our community at catholicmomcalm.com I’m praying for you and for all Catholic moms. Have a blessed day.