If you’re feeling like the world seems dark and heavy, you have to play The Better Game! You can play it with your husband, your kids, and I would especially recommend that you play it with your friends. It has the power to bring you hope to even look forward to the future!
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Welcome, my Catholic mom friends. Today we’re going to be talking about the better game. And this is a pretty fun game, and I’ve been playing it with my friends and the kids. My husband has been out of town for a little while, so I haven’t played it with him yet. But the idea is that you pick a time frame and you ask your brain to help you find all the ways that your life is better than it was at the time frame ago that you chose. So let’s say it’s five years. You can look back and say, how is my life better than it was five years ago? And if you’re going through a difficult season, a hard season, a season of suffering, maybe somebody just recently passed away and you’re feeling really raw, we just talked about Miscarriage and Masters. You may not be feeling like your life is better than it was five years ago, and that’s totally fine, but there are parts of your life that are better than they were five years ago.
And so for me, five years ago, I was living in Boise. I was in bed. We still owned the fence company. I had not learned anything about life coaching or the model or stress responses or processing pain, just any of that awesome stuff that I use every day. Now, I was feeling pretty hopeless about ever going, like, two years without getting pregnant. And five years ago, I didn’t have a longing to move up north. I was pretty, pretty happy in Boise. I wasn’t even thinking about moving.
And I see the ways that I have grown as a mom, just the way I run my house so much more smoothly. And again, a lot of that is just because I’m so much better at managing my emotions, at regulating my emotions. And so I just watched all of my kids for four days and did everything, all the meals, all the nap times, all the bedtimes. And we even had some friends over. I took them to daily mass by myself. I took them to the actual mass by myself, and I just handled it. And I watched myself do that, thinking, wow, I didn’t have that capacity built up five years ago. And so here’s the thing about our brains.
Our brains have a negative bias. They’re programmed to think negatively and to look for danger. So we were also talking in Masters about the increasing costs of groceries. And when we allow our brains to just be really negative and fearful, we don’t solve problems to make our lives better. But when we pause and we think about how our life already is better, that feels good. It feels good, and you’ll want to keep it going, and it shows you, oh, life is probably going to keep getting better. My brain, definitely, without training or guidance, thinks life is very painful and hard, and it’s just going to get more painful and harder if I didn’t talk to my brain ever, that’s what it would think and think about the present and think about the future. And so I have to work really hard to tell it.
No, things are better. Things are better than they were five years ago. Things are better than they were two years ago. One year ago. One month ago. A month ago, my yard was covered in mud and the kids were trumping in and out of the house with gobs of mud. And the mud was so thick that their boots would get stuck in the mud, and then their feet would come out and then their socks would land in the mud. So much mud drop.
And now everything is dry and they’re outside and they’re running through the fields and they’re swinging and jumping on the trampoline. This is so much better. And I found my rhythm again with, like, salads and coleslaws. We went from eating warm food and then I wanted cold food and my brain was like, well, I just don’t even remember how to find that rhythm. And I have it again. And I’m so grateful for that. And I want you to think this is harder, but I think even more worth it. What is better about today than yesterday? And again, we’re not saying the whole day is better than yesterday, but there is something that is better today than yesterday.
Breakfast ran really smoothly with the kids today. There’s no crying. Much better than yesterday. I cleaned out the fridge. I take out each shelf and I kind of soak them for a little bit and then clean it off and put it back in and it’s just sparkly clean. Felt really proud of that. I’m washing all the sheets on our bed. I do that before my husband comes home from any trip.
And it’s just nice. And he comes home today. And so you can use your brain to play the better game you can do with your kids. But it’s important to me that I explain to the kids. It’s not that the previous things were bad or terrible and we need to force ourselves to be happy about today, but there is something better about today, and they usually find it. Kids are much better at this because their brain hasn’t had as much training to be fearful yet. I want you to introduce this game to your friends because right now when we get together with our friends, a lot of times we complain, which is good. It is good to have friends who can empathize with the challenges of motherhood.
We don’t have to be cheery all the time, but once we’ve allowed ourselves to kind of, okay, this is where we’re at. This is what’s going on. I want you to suggest the better game. Be like, I have a friend, her name is Sterling. She told me about this game called the Better Game. And then just pick a time frame, what is better. And the more I’ve been playing this game, the more my brain is starting to realize there will be better things in the future. There will be better things in the future.
We can count on it. And I’m going to show myself that this is who I am. I am a person who can always find the better, even in difficult seasons, even when it seems like things aren’t going well. If you spend any time scrolling on social media or reading any kind of news, it feels largely negative. So you have to force your brain to look for what’s better. And I think that you’re going to find this will make you look forward to the days, because if you know that you’re going to be playing the better game, then throughout the day you’ll be wondering, I wonder if this is one of those things that I want to think about and call better. I went to the store and bought a sprinkler attachment because we don’t really have sprinklers here on our five acres. So I just bought this, like one of those sprinkler attachments that moves back and forth, and we hooked it up to the hose and the kids just loved it.
It was $12 and it was so wonderful. And I love watching them play. They’re doing that right now when I’m recording this podcast. The boys are napping and the girls are running through the sprinklers, and I can hear them laughing. That’s better. So I want you to be brave. Takes bravery to talk about this. You will feel silly talking about it.
You feel silly asking your husband to play the better game or your kids or your friends. You will risk rejection. You will risk someone saying that’s dumb or nothing’s better. Why would you ask me that? I don’t want to make it sound like this. Exercise in doing new things is always easy. There is always risk involved in vulnerability with other people. But if you can get someone to play, it will make you closer. It will bring you together.
It will create connections. And I think we need more of that right now. We need more hope and more connection. And I think the better game is one way that we can do it. And it’s easy and it’s free. All right, ladies. I love you. I’m praying for you.
You were Made for Greatness.
![Anxiety never comes from the Lord. So the second I feel that tightness show up in my chest, I already know something true about myself. I am thinking about my life in a way that God does not want me to think about it. Period. Because if I were thinking about it the way He wants me to, I would be at peace. This episode is one question I want you to start asking faster than you are asking it right now. Not "Lord, take this away," but "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" About this toddler. About my husband. About my body. About this house. I asked Him something this morning and He said, "You already know. You just doubt what I have already told you." Ooh, burn, Lord. We talk about why we are not reaching for Him sooner (we do not actually believe we could be at peace all the time), the grace you have to ask for before He hands it to you, what Fulton Sheen was doing in basically every talk he ever gave, and why Daniel in the lions' den and Mary at the foot of the cross were both at peace. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: The micro moment prayer: the second you notice tightness, throw your hands up and say "Lord, I invite you into this. Come be with me right now." Why anxiety is information and not a verdict. It tells you your thinking is off, not that your life is off The real reason we do not run to Him faster: we have never met a person who is at peace all the time, so we quietly decided it is not available to us Eight out of ten minutes. You will lose it. The win is how fast you come back Feeling powerless is the worst feeling there is, and being able to stay calm in any situation is one of the most powerful You are not done when you hear the sentence. Your job is to practice it, or your brain will spiral right back in two hours The gifts of the Holy Spirit were designed to be asked for. Wisdom, counsel, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, fear of the Lord. Ask Being at peace does not mean being peaceful. It means receiving. It means "this is okay right now and I can handle it" The surprise pregnancy test, the teenager going through it, the adult child who left the Church. You can be at peace today, in that EPISODE TIMELINE: (estimated at 5-minute marks, no timestamps in the transcript, confirm against audio) [00:00] – Hope when you feel anxious, trapped, stuck or frozen, and inviting the Lord into the micro moment [05:00] – "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" Why anxiety never comes from Him, and what Mary has to do with our unbelief [10:00] – Eight out of ten minutes, and why staying calm is the most powerful you will ever feel [15:00] – Cheeky Jesus, the sentences He actually gives me, and writing them down so I can practice them [20:00] – My real morning (I do not pray first thing), redirecting my brain, and asking for grace and the gifts of the Holy Spirit [25:00] – Fulton Sheen, the beatification, and why all his talks end the same way. At peace is not peaceful. Daniel, Mary, Joseph and the donkey [30:00] – Who I belong to, true freedom, and an invitation to the Catholic Mom Reset LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Join the Catholic Mom Reset: www.catholicmomcalm.com/reset Fulton Sheen beatification, plus the conference with Arthur Brooks the day before (Sterling will have a table, come say hi): www.fultonsheenconference.com/ CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm](https://catholicmomcalm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/CMC_Podcast_Ep_271_13-300x300.png)
![I am team planning. I am team house systems. We teach it in the membership and it is the very first thing we tackle in the Catholic Mom Reset, because looking at your next 90 days and making a plan is genuinely a gift to your future self. But if you took all of it away tomorrow, dropped me in a different house in a different town with no idea what the next 90 days held, I would be okay. I could walk around and have peace. That is the part I want for you. A lot of women tell me they are type A planners. There is a healthy version of that. There is also a version that gets built in a childhood full of chaos you could not control, or in a home where performing well was how you got love and attention. Both of those grow up into a woman who plans beautifully, and one of them is holding on with an iron grip. This episode is how to tell which one you are running on, the five minute healing work that sets the grip down, and the sentence I said to a mom on a coaching call that changed her whole face. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why the plan is not what makes you feel calm (you make a plan, then you think "I have a plan," and the thought is what creates safety in your body) The two childhoods that produce a hyper-planner: chaos you had no control over, and love you had to earn by performing The difference between planning that feels light and playful and planning you believe you cannot survive without Abraham walking up the mountain and the Israelites who never got the itinerary, and what peace looked like for both Tolerating uncertainty is a capacity you can grow, the same way a kid grows from 37 seconds to a minute and a half underwater The five minute memory work I use, sitting in the theater with the Lord while He tells you the truth about what really happened What I told the mom who was afraid that moving every two years would rob her kids of roots and stability EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Why I wanted to do this episode, and why I am solidly team planning and team systems [05:00] – All brains hate uncertainty, the AI conversation nobody can predict, and the skill we can actually grow [10:00] – Your body feels your thinking, not your plan. The Israelites, and Abraham on the mountain [15:00] – The car breaks down. The husband's job might move you. How to answer your own brain [20:00] – Chaos versus performance, the grounded healthy version of you, and asking the Lord what we are doing today [25:00] – Bob Schuchts, inner child work, and revisiting a memory with Jesus in five minutes [30:00] – "You are their mom. You bring roots and stability everywhere you go." Protocols, and week one of the Reset LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Catholic Mom Reset (starts Sunday, September 6th, first live call Thursday, September 10th) Bob Schuchts books Brya Hannan book on inner child healing (do one chapter a month, it is deep work) Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts and Jake Khym Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm](https://catholicmomcalm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/CMC_Podcast_Ep_271_12-300x300.png)
!["People love change. They just hate transition." I heard Matthew Kelly teach that years ago and I think about it every single August. Because right now I'm getting a hundred emails from the school, two of my boys walked out today in socks with giant holes in the heels, and there's a lunchbox in this house that will not zip. If your body is fritzing out over start dates and supply lists and shoe sizes, nothing has gone wrong. You're not in the change yet. You're in the transition, and I want to give you the exact words to say to your own brain while you're standing in the middle of it. Plus a summer update: our little red golden retriever, the sickness that took my husband down, walking in 87 degrees on purpose, 200 Fulton Sheen rosaries, and the press-on nails I just ordered off an internet ad. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why change and transition are two different things, and why the yucky feeling belongs to the transition and not to your decision What to tell your brain when it starts second-guessing (the feeling is bad, so the choice must be wrong) and why that's backwards Who you are in a transition is not who you're going to be, whether that's back-to-school or pregnancy or a move you didn't choose The two weeks plus two weeks rhythm I use: get ready, live it, evaluate at the end of the day, tweak, then settle into the change Giving equal air time, because your brain will spend all day on what could go wrong and about nine seconds on what you're excited about The folder-and-calendar hack that keeps the school email avalanche from hanging over you every hour of the day Looking for what was good in a hard season, even when the good thing is just the timing of it EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Mid-August, the nesting itch, and going from wild open summer to ordered fall [05:00] – Annie Avonlea, a sickness that hit everyone one at a time, and what was actually good about it [10:00] – Walking in the heat on purpose, France prep, and giving equal air time to the excitement [15:00] – Making Fulton Sheen rosaries, why moms need work that gets finished, and yes, the press-on nails [20:00] – "People love change. They just hate transition." The emails, the socks, the lunchbox that won't zip [25:00] – Talking to your brain in the transition, and the four weeks it actually takes to settle [30:00] – The email folder hack, and having peace today in the middle of all of it LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Join the Catholic Mom Reset: www.catholicmomcalm.com/reset Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com Fulton Sheen beatification conference: https://fultonsheenconference.com/ CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm](https://catholicmomcalm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/CMC_Podcast_Ep_271_11-1-300x300.png)