Pursuing Good in a Godly Way

And so we have these natural gifts, and then each one of us have specific gifts around our personality, our training, our lifestyle, the people that God has put in our lives that are good. But it is the father of lies who comes and says, Do you know how you should pursue this good thing? Do you know how you should use this talent? And he tricks us into pursuing a good thing, a godly thing, in an ungodly manner. So one example might be teaching your children math. We have this idea that math is very important. I don’t actually have this idea that math is very important. I’ll just share with you basic math, and then math to support what you want to learn is really important. But we teach kids a lot of math that they don’t really need to learn. And so you have a good desire in your heart for your children, hopefully, that they become saints, that they become who God created them to become.

But in the beginning, we don’t know exactly what that’s gonna look like. And so a lot of you have decided that learning math is probably important for future success. And so we can all look at all the different types of math, and each one of us will have a different opinion about where the the line is. You know, do they need calculus? Do they need trigonometry? I think most of us would agree that they need basic adding and subtracting and multiplication and division skills. But I bet if I pulled a bunch of parents memory, memorizing the Times tables, some would think it was important and some wouldn’t. So the good thing that your heart desires is that you shepherd this child to adulthood, that you prepare them to be an adult. That is our job, but it’s not actually written in the Bible that they need to know trigonometry. I’m totally just picking one random level of math. And so in your goodness, wanting your child to be prepared for the world, you might be riding them very, very hard to do their math, to the point that they’re crying, to the point that they feel stupid, to the point that they hide things from you.

And you are pursuing a good thing in a not healthy way. And I guarantee that every time we pursue something, not in a godly way, it’s rooted in fear, it’s rooted in a lack of trust. Because if you see that your kid is not excelling at math, particularly if you live in one of those communities where everything kind of affects everything else, So you’ve, you’ve gotta do well in this class. So you can be in this program next year so you can get into this school so you can, right? And you’re kind of watching it play out in your mind. Fear is driving your behavior with your kiddo around their math. And when fear has gotten a hold of your heart, you’re not going to look like someone who’s exhibiting the fruits of the Holy Spirit. You will look like someone who is not walking closely with the Lord because you are not.

You’re like, Listen, Lord, hang on a second. And you put him in the corner and you rely on yourself for the success of this kid, and you panic. And then that’s gonna come out. However, it’s gonna come out with the kid, and the Lord is standing there. Who knows what the kid’s life is actually gonna be. But the punchline is gonna be the Lord says, Hey, I’ve got this kid. I’ve got him. You’re just holding him for me for a time, But I’ve got this kid. Can you be okay with that? Can you be okay, my daughter, that I’m gonna take care of this kid, his future, his salvation?

No, I’m not saying we’re hands off and we don’t do anything. He is calling us to teach our children some amount of things, but he’s calling us to do it from peace. And we are studying peace for three months in Masters. And it’s already been incredible. I mean, the feedback has already been, Wow, this is exactly what I needed. I’m so glad you’re doing this. We had some person, right? And she said, You should do this every year in the fourth quarter, because that’s when people need it the most. And I agree, I don’t know if we’ll do that or not, but I really do believe that we as Americans kind of lose our bloom in our minds October, November and December, we pursue good things in an ungodly way. And when I say ungodly, we’re not trying to be god’s. I think you guys all know that, but we’re not pursuing it in the fruits of the Holy Spirit manner. Now, I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I’m saying it because God promises us peace. He says, If you walk closely with me, you can have the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and that’s what most of you want.

And so when you really give that kiddo to the Lord and you really acknowledge you have no idea what that kid’s future is gonna be and what level of math they need to understand, then you can from peace go, All right, what does this kiddo need? What kind of mom does he need right now? You can look at the fruits of the Holy Spirit and say, Which one of those do I need to show up with right now? God is not a God of trickery. He’s not gonna call your son to be a high level engineer and then make him not good at math. Now, he may need the right teacher. He may need you know, if he has the brain thing where you flip the numbers, he might need some extra training. But God gives us everything we need to do the job that he’s going to ask of us.

And so if you got a kiddo that isn’t great with numbers, I want you to ask yourself, What is that kiddo great at? How can I cultivate that? Where’s this kiddo going? Am I stuffing them into an American school, college rat race box? So another example is we want our children to be enriched. I’ll just say it’s just some level of enrichment, right? Foreign languages, music, sports, debate club, and these are really great things. And wanting to raise a well rounded, educated, cultured child is a beautiful thing. I have a friend who does this so well. She’s just, just kind of a renaissance mom and just brings warmth and, and kind of the romance of learning into everything that she does. I really admire that about her. But she does it from peace.

And sometimes I do it from peace, but sometimes I’m like, Hey everyone, we have to read this book. You’re gonna love it. Come here, stop talking, Right? And I’m, I’m trying to pursue something good like enrichment, but I’m doing it in a stressed out way. And I’m not being kind to the kids or myself. And I may not be being mean. I may just be a little sharp or I may be distracted. But being sharp or being distracted are both coming from a root of fear. So if I’m trying to get the kids to come do, you know, a read aloud thing with me and they’re not doing it, it’s going to be because I’m going to be sharp with them because I’m scared that I’m not doing it right, that they’re not gonna get what they need. It’s gonna be both of those things probably.

Or I might be distracted because I might be sitting down with them, reading the book and thinking, Oh, I really should clean the house. Or for me, Oh, I really should be working on my business and I’m not calm. So I’m pursuing something good, like reading a beautiful book out loud to my children, but not from peace. And the problem with extracurricular activities is individually they always sound pretty good, but then all of a sudden we’re in October and our family’s running around and we’re living off fast food or snacks in the car. The kids are at the end of their energy ropes and everyone’s kind of pouring themselves into bed at the end of the day. Like what just happened? It was just like a flurry of so many things.

When did we pray? When did we laugh? When did we rest? And so pursuing enrichment is a good thing, but you are the peace center of your home. In the next episode I do, which I think comes out in two weeks, will be about your calendar. No one puts anything on your calendar, but you, Isn’t that crazy to think about? And the last example that I wanted to use was a husband who’s drinking more than you want him to drink. And it feels like a really good and holy thing for his wife to help him practice temperance.

And ultimately, our job is to lead our husband to heaven, right? That’s the job of spouses is to help each other grow in virtue and lead each other to heaven. So that is a good thing. But the way that it gets twisted is we freak out. We think something’s really wrong, drinking makes a lot of us scared. And then we come at our husbands probably with fight energy. Some of you may be like more passive, aggressive, sneaky barbs, but regardless, not the fruits of the Holy Spirit. And of course, his reaction is gonna be poor.

And the father of lies will have won. He will have gotten you to pursue a godly thing in an ungodly way. And so if you trusted the Lord with your husband’s soul and you knew that your job is to love him and to lead him to heaven, what would it look like to interact with him about drinking from peace? Just like talking to him calmly and softly, but being really unattached, trusting the Lord to walk with your husband, trusting yourself. But instead, it usually comes out like sharp nagging or yelling, or we try to control them in other ways, and we don’t create connection when we do that. And so I want you to think about what feels stressful in your life right now. We always have a couple things that come to mind. And I want you to ask yourself, what is the good here that God is asking me to

Pursue? And then I want you to ask yourself, how am I pursuing it in an ungodly way? And if you want, you can have the list of the fruits of the Holy Spirit in front of you so you can just see, Oh, I’m really lacking gentleness. I’m really lacking self-control. And then I want you to pray and ask the Lord, Lord, how do you want me to show up about this? And this is our work. This is how we become saints. We learn to live in peace. And if you wanna learn how to do that, I want you to come join us in masters.

There is nothing more valuable than learning this skill in my opinion, because you can’t fake peace. So the only reason you’d actually have deep down pieces, because you were walking closely with the Lord, and we know exactly how to teach you how to do that. Isn’t that crazy? And we have this beautiful workbook that you can slowly go through for the three months of October, November, and December, so that you get to the end of the year and you think, You know what? My life is a lot more peaceful. Is this still gonna be chaotic? Probably sometime every day. Yeah. We live in the world. There’s a battle going on for our souls. But even if you could have peace 10% more of your day, let me tell you, that makes a big difference. It’s worth it. And it’s also my work, right? Everything we teach is something that Lorissa and I want to learn. We want to be better at, We want to practice, and I’m ready to take my life coaching skills and use them to deepen my understanding of peace. And I’d love to help you do the same. Remember, the world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were Made for Greatness.